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MONKEY BUSINESS

 
  APE SHIT     MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

 

                                                                                       

What's in a Name: Charlotte
The Living and the Dead: photographer, inventor wife
John Doe:  Music Mixer
Devil's Violinist: object of desire
The Tunnel: Jilted rich wife
Black Sails: Pirate whore
Logan: New Mutant
Lucifer Season 2: devil's mother in the body of murder victim Charlotte Richards
Blowback: crucified by a religiously psychotic serial killer.
Republic of Doyle: angry wife betrayed by husband
Vexed:  irritable chef suspect in murder
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies:  plain friend Charlotte Lucas
Charlotte's Web (book):  #3 cries while reading it on Dark Matter
Matriarch: Love the Coopers
Whore: Jesse Stone Lost in Paradise
Doctor: Vexed
Actress: Murdoch Mysteries
Street where psychic wolves live: Wolfen
Suspected family murderer (Bloody Charlotte - Down Syndrome child): Endeavour
Seemingly tired new mother murderess: Inspector Lewis
Daughter of evil kingpin:  Ray Donovan 
Murderous widow: Death in Paradise
Multiple Personality Disorder:  Murdoch Mysteries
Spider Woman (appropriate): Grimm
Werewolf victim:  Penny Dreadful
Lonely Mom: Magic of Belle Isle
Meddling mother: In My Dreams
Overeating girlfriend: Night Shift
Government evaluator/girlfriend: Top Gun
Snooty Southern Lady: Guns of Fort Petticoat
Daughter: Audrey's Rain
Lonely Housewife: Earthly Possessions ~
Activist: Zorro the Gay Blade ~
Spinster: Now Voyager ~
Aunt: The Patriot ~
Nut job: Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte ~
Reporter: Elf ~
Slut: Sex in the City
Bad Guy: Stargate SG1 ~
Scientist: Lost ~
Galleon: National Treasure ~
Slave: National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets ~
Spider: Charlotte's Web ~
Niece: Shadow of a Doubt

Girlfriend/dreamer: Triangle (2001) ~
Patient: House ~
Col. Langdon's Daughter: Undefeated ~
USMC Stuart Tank: Wind Talker ~
Actress who will do anything: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Photographer: Tell No One ~
Swiss scientist's girlfriend: Sherlock Holmes Dressed to Kill ~
Secretary: Princess Diaries ~
Lolita's mother: Lolita ~
Secretary: Baby Boom 
Mystery story lover on plane: Bones ~
Resistance Fighter: Charlotte Gray ~
Dead wife: The Beast ~
Lonely penniless American: The Golden Bowl ~
Nagging wife: Wolf ~ dead scientist: Lost 
Dance teacher: Bones ~
Unlucky in love lawyer: The Wives He Forgot ~
Arson victim: Criminal Minds ~
sheriff's murdered niece: Justified ~
fat daughter: Grown Ups ~
whiny housewife: The Gates
Chuck Finley's wife: Burn Notice ~
Whiny daughter-in-law:  Chance of a Lifetime ~
Rape Victim: Private Practice ~
Agent of a secret society against vampires: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Undead
Charlotte Darwin, kidnap victim of sorts:  Paul ~
Charlotte Mearing Director NIA: Transformers Dark of the Moon ~
Mechanical Girl entity: Fragile ~
Dying Girlfriend: Autumn in New York ~
Police Liason: Touching Evil BBC series ~
A dog in a shelter: A Dog Named Christmas ~
Murderess Charlotte Boyd: Castle ~
Bitchy friend: Boy Eats Girl ~
Murder victim: CSI ~
Princess Charlotte, Spiritualist: Perry Mason

Isn't this odd: 
James Badge Dale and Max Martini starred in 13 Hours and played nearly the same type of characters in Spectral
That "Windows", the radio operator in The Thing is killed by the Thing and "Windows" the thief is killed by a serial killer in Last Heist 
Crane Operator is a dangerous occupation:  The Abyss (1989) the operator is taken down to the briny deep.  Godzilla (2014) the operator is taken down into the radioactive pit with MUTO
Mary McCormack has played sports wives in Madison (thunder boats) and Mystery, Alaska (hockey)
British characters Charters and Caldicot, two gents golfing through Europe pre-WWII show up in The Lady Vanishes and Midnight Train to Munich.  Their action mostly takes place on trains.

1951 The Day the Earth Stood Still...Klaatu and Bobby go to the cemetery to visit Bobby's deceased father...Robert Benson
Vincent Price in the movie Laura said he "couldn't kill a fly"...funny, a few years later he is in the movie The Fly and must kill the fly with Al Hedison's head on it.
Neil Diamond and Buffalo Springfield show up on hippie episodes of Mannix Season 1
Laura and Undercover Blues have a hand held dexterity game prop (baseball) in common.  The cops in both movies try to get all the balls in the holes using only one hand.

These folks have something in common:  Rambo, Dalton (Roadhouse), KC Ryback (Under Siege), Bishop (Rise; Blood Hunter), Dracula (1979),  Tien (On Bak 3) and Selene's hybrid daughter (Underworld Awakening)...they've ripped out the throat of some bad guy with their bare hands.  Cool.

Thumbs and Handcuffs:  Leonard Betts - X Files ~~ John Wick and Miss Perkins - John Wick ~~ Agent Ward - Agents of Shield ~~
Tom, a former cop - Deadly Impact

Team Apeonaut Noticed These nuggets:
Willem Dafoe in Boondock Saints and Platoon performs nearly the same kneeling and wailing in desperation scene
The theme music in Conan the Barbarian is the same as in the chop-socky movie General Invincible
3:10 to Yuma (remake) Bales & Crowe together.  Bales goes on to play Moses and Crowe goes on to play Noah.
SHIPROCK, NM, final scene in My Darling Clementine, John Carter of Mars, The Host
, Beyond the Reach
Rules of the House:  John Constantine and John Wick.
Keanu Reeves...little Johnny One Note?  Johnnie Mnemonic, John Constantine, John Wick, Johnny Utah, Jonathan Harker, John, John Rain
Robert Davi, Grand L. Bush and Paul Gleason co-starred together in Die Hard and Maniac Cop 3
Earl Hindman (Home Improvement's Wilson) was in the Parallax View with Warren Beatty
James Hong and Kurt Russell worked together in Tango and Cash and Big Trouble in Little China
Tim Olyphant and Joe Anderson worked together in High Life and The Crazies
Columbo: Last Salute to the Commodore:  Filmed at the Long Beach Yacht Club...this is totally funny if you know Benson & Hedges Mysteries
Jenny Slater:  Gross Pointe Blank and the Watchmen

Where Disasters Strike:  Paul Newman and William Holden (Towering Inferno) and Ernest Borgnine and Red Buttons (Poseidon Adventure) were in When Time Ran Out , a volcano disaster movie. 

Is this for real?  Yeti, a Love Story

Best James Bond discussion in a movie:  Lucky # Slevin

More Truly Useless:  Token from South Park (Rings episode) and Terrance Mann (Field of Dreams) both use the universal hand gesture for "I've had enough I'm going home".  If you understand this, you'll know just how funny this is.

The stuff dreams are made of...Maltese Falcon and Big Jake

Truly Useless:

James Bond in Dr. No (1962) tells Honey Rider and Quarrel that there are no such things as dragons.  In 1996 he plays one.
Life saving tip from the movie
Thirst (2010):  When you roll your truck in the desert 80 miles from anywhere, no cell reception, no one looking for you, you walk away hoping to find a road and leave two injured friends behind that then get eaten by coyotes and you leave your dead lover behind after he kills himself because he can't go on and you make it back to your wrecked vehicles and find your friend's breast implants, the warm saline inside can be used as an IV to replenish your own depleted hydration levels.

Sad Keanu observation:  The Watcher (2000) serial killer Keanu stalks the pretty psychiatrist to the "Flatiron" Building and in Johnny Mnemonic (1995) when Johnny is supposedly in Newark NJ, they show the Flatiron Building in the background and in his newest movie John Wick visits the Continental Hotel (flat iron building).  Probably because it is architecturally interesting.  AND   Johnny Mnemonic, John Constantine, John Wick

In the 1958 Blob Steve McQueen utters these immortal words when the military drops the blob in the Arctic..."as long as the Arctic stays cold..."  

"There is no Spoon"...comment with different meanings from Dog Soldiers (Cpl. Spoon is killed by werewolves) and The Matrix (Neo is told by a little kid sitting in the Oracle's house...)

Season 7 of 24:  A mercenary that Jack has to dispatch is named John Quinn.  This is also the name of an adult film company producer.
The Tread Climber by Bowflex guy is an adult film actor.
The Del Webb Living and Ensure woman is an adult film actress
24's Jack Bauer, our favorite anti-terrorist, uses the same chair made by Humanscale that Team Apeonaut uses at HQ. 

For those who pay attention:  Dexter (our new favorite serial killer) uses Patrick Bateman as a pseudonym for his purchase of M-99, the powerful sedative he uses to subdue his victims.  Patrick Bateman is, as we all know, The American Psycho played by Christian Bale.  That is so clever.

Another Dexter connection:  Two actors, Erik King and Mark Pelligrino, who were in the movie National Treasure as FBI agents are costars on Dexter.  King is Sgt. Dokes who gets the creeps from Dexter and Pelligrino is Paul, Dexter's girlfriend's ex-husband.

Another crime fighting connection:  Yvonne Craig (Batgirl) and Neil Hamilton (Commissioner Gordon) appear together 10 years earlier in an episode of Perry Mason.

Not movie related but entertaining none the less (at least the apes thought so): Team Apeonaut discovered this accidentally - take a ripe but still yellow banana (ape related food stuff) drop some butter (NOT MARGARINE OR BUTTER-LIKE SPREAD CRAP) on the peel.  Wipe off said butter.  Within 5 minutes the pretty yellow banana peel has turned brown and the seams have split open as has the banana within where the seams touch it.  And yes, it was a Dole banana. 

News from around the World:  A bridge under construction in Hungary could be named after Chuck Norris.

For those aeronautical buffs:  A charming little Sci Fi channel original movie, Savage Planet, features a beautiful Black Widow.
Resident Evil Afterlife: Alice lands in Alaska looking for Arcadia and finds a bunch of planes in a field.  The one filled with crows has an EAA sticker on it and looks like an old DC3

One sure sign of the Apocalypse:  The Sci Fi Channel premier of the Beast of Bray Road...wait for it...BASED on a true story.  What's up with that?  Well, almost apologies to Sci Fi.  Looking up the "Beast" on the internet, evidently it is a legend in Wisconsin of all places. 

Another sign of the Apocalypse:  Disney is remaking Adventures in Babysitting.  Why God, why???

GREATEST PLUG FOR A PREMATURELY CANCELLED TV SHOW:  
NEW FOX NETWORK SHOW BONES...TWO SCIENTISTS ARE EXCHANGING WITTY BANTER WHEN ONE SAYS, "NO, YOU'D BE SITTING HOME WATCHING RERUNS OF FIREFLY!"

That's just so wrong on wheels:  
Justified: Raylan pushes Cousin Johnny in his wheelchair out of the room and out of his chair before slamming the door on him.
Smilla's Sense of Snow:
  Mr. Lu has been killed and tied to his desk chair.  When his boat explodes he rolls across the deck then rolls overboard in flames.
Bruce Campbell in
My Name is Bruce kicks a wheel chair bound vet/fan down a hill for bugging him for an autograph.
Wake of Death: Uncle Max is shot out of his wheelchair.
The Highwaymen:  the serial killer leaves a wheel chair in the passing lane of a tunnel causing a horse trailer to pile up causing a serious wreck.  In the thrilling conclusion, one of the killer's victims drags him in his wheelchair with his own car...
The International: the assassin uses an empty wheelchair to distract the other hired killers in his attempt to escape with his life.
Big Trouble in Little China:  Jack Burton falls into a wheelchair and rolls backwards toward an abyss.  Stopping in the nick of time right at the edge Jack pulls himself out of harm's way, jumps from the chair that then goes crashing into the dark hole.
January Man: Kevin Kline as a disgraced cop out to catch a serial killer.  In the pivotal fight at the end, the killer and the cop chase each other down many flights of stairs.  At one point the cop asks the bystanders how he's doing as he is being dragged down the stairs in a Keystone Cops kind of way.  They shake theirs heads in a not doing so well way.
Kiss of Death
, Richard Widmark ties an old lady to her wheel chair with the lamp chord and then throws her down the stairs to her death.
Manhunter (and the dreadful Red Dragon) The Dragon ties a dreadful reporter to a wheel chair, lights him on fire and rolls him down the parking garage ramp.
Johnny Rocco goads crippled old man Temple out of his chair in a war of words in
Key Largo.
The Changeling, a genuinely creepy scarefest with the wheelchair of a murdered little boy that wheels around on it's own and chases Trish Van Devere down several flights of stairs.
The Hidden...alien in possession of a human body drives a Ferrari at 90 miles an hour into a guy in a wheelchair.  You know that had to hurt. 
Death Race 2000...extra points for the folks in wheelchairs
 

NO HMO? NO PROBLEM!:  WE JUST LOVE THAT DO-IT-YOURSELF MEDICAL TREATMENT!
Force 2: the hero is shot with a nail gun during a fight and must remove it himself with old pliers.
Madras Cafe: after being shot the hero must dig the bullet out of his shoulder with a penknife.
Fargo Season 1 Episode 10:  Malvo has been caught in a bear trap that tears up his leg and gives him a compound fracture.  Upon getting to his hide out, he wraps a shoelace around his foot and the window frame and pulls the bone back into his skin.  Then a little wooden slat and some duct tape neatly wraps up his shinbone.
Luke Cage:  shot with special exploding bullets Luke is immersed in an acid bath to make his skin soft enough to use tweezers to remove deadly shrapnel.
Jane Got  A Gun:  her husband comes home shot in the back and Jane digs around removing the bullets then pours gunpowder in the holes and lights them off.
Standoff:  both combatants are shot.  Both use alcohol and heated knives to clean and cauterize the wounds.  A little duct tape for good measure doesn't hurt either.
The Revenant:  Hugh Glass is mauled by a bear.  The Captain stitches him up as best as he can, but Glass is left for dead.  After crawling out of his shallow grave and crawling several miles Hugh puts some shot pellets in his neck hole and lights them on fire to seal a gap that cause blood and water to spray out when he drinks.
Lizzie Borden: Bat Masterson is shot and sticks his lit cigar in the bullet hole to cauterize it.
He Never Died: Jack removes a slug from his shoulder with a kitchen knife and a slug from his forehead with a pair of needle-nose pliers.  Don't look at me when you talk.
Arrow: sew up ankle after being shot and dig out bullet out of back
The Physician:  In an attempt to blend in a Christian self-circumcises in order to blend in at a Jewish-Arab university in 411 AD.
Doc Martin:  a severed neck artery is held together with new bride's hair barrette
Longmire season 4:  Henry is shot in the leg with Walt's .30 Winchester.  Henry has to dig out the slug himself with the use of the side mirror on his truck and a pocket knife.
Aeon Flux:  digs out two bullets on Goodchild's back and shoulder with her fingers, then peels off some mutant skin to cover his bullet holes.
 Banshee:  Lucas is shot through and through and sews it up himself.
Justified:  Bad guy uses a knife to cut the spent bullet from the front of his shoulder, then uses paper towels to plug up the hole.
Archer:  CIA Agent Slater bursts into Archer's apartment with a gunshot wound to the shoulder.  He proceeds to sew it up with a needle and thread from Archer's bar first aid kit.
Grimm: a pen in the eye, a wolf bite and various other rips and tears are sewn up with a large needle and black thread.
John Wick:  After getting cut with a broken champagne bottle and later with a switchblade, John staples himself together with veterinary tools.  Woof
Fades (BBC zombie show):  You get clawed by creepy monster and have to sew it up with mom's needle and some raggedy thread.
TMNT 2014:  My shell is cracked.  Just duct tape it will ya
Lucy:  After gaining more brain capacity Lucy is shot during her escape and after having a snack she digs out the bullet with her fingers.
Joe: Hit with buckshot Joe just digs in the holes with his knife then patches himself up with duct tape.
The Package: Terry just puts a butterfly band-aid on the gash in his chest. Oh yeah, that will keep it closed.
Alex Cross:  psycho is shot and uses a mini-blowtorch to cauterize his wounds.  That and he likes it.
Blood of Heroes:  In all the filth of the post apocalyptic world the doctor sews up your gashes with thick dirty thread and a piece of metal
Red Dawn the Remake:  Jed is shot in the side and is sewn up in the cave where the Wolverines are hiding.  Black thread and jagged stitches do the trick to hold his skin together.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns:  Sister Sarah after being horribly abused by the clergy and the drug cartels shoots the leaders of each group.  In one gun battle she is shot in the side.  In a no-tell motel she takes needle nose pliers heated on the stove and digs out the bullet on the first try.

Last Legion: Wulfila is smacked in the face with a battle axe.  We see him wandering around with a sliced open face, then we see huge black stitches holding his face together, then we see a huge puffy scar.

Out of Reach:  a police officer is shot in the shoulder, Steven Seagal heats a butter knife and a steak knife over a gas flame on the stove.  Digging the slug out with the steak knife then cauterizing the hole with the hot flat butter knife makes it all better. 
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: Rigby is shot a couple of times and each time "doll-face" sucks them out of his arm.
Haywire:  Mallory is shot in the arm by a fellow contractor.  During her getaway she has her hostage patch up her bullet hole while they are involved in a high speed pursuit.

Dog Soldiers: Sarge's intestines are super glued back into his stomach cavity before he turns into a werewolf.  It would have been harder to do after.
Blackthorn:  Another bullet hole cauterized by gunpowder poured into the hole and lit on fire.
Six Million Dollar Man:  cut open your bionic finger and use two hot wires to cauterize Oscar's bullet wound.

Man from Nowhere:  After being shot, Cha calls his old friend the trash collector to stitch him up.  This may hurt a little.
Last Man Standing: whiskey on a hanky in the bullet wound
The Thing (1982): Nice black stitches in the leg bullet wound
Fistful of Dollars:  Man with No Name has been shot---a knife tip is placed in the hole, gunpowder is poured down the blade into the hole, gunpowder is lit with cigarillo, explosion cauterizes the hole.
Cowboys vs Aliens:  Jake after escaping the aliens has his laser wound tended by the preacher.  This may sting a little.
Depth Charge:  Doc is shot and has to clean his wound and dig out the slug by himself.  He doesn't stitch up the hole, he just throws a gauze on it.
Legion:  Michael the angel hacks off his own wings with a wicked blade then sews up the wing holes with a curved needle and black thread.

Faster: Driver is wounded in a knife fight.  He goes home to mom and has her sew him up with a raggedy cross stitch and black thread.
Rambo 3:  Rambo has a shrapnel injury through and through in the side.  He empties a cartridge into the back side hole and lights it thus cauterizing the hole...
The great effect is the flame shooting out the front  side hole!
Troy:  Helen sews up the king's son's leg with a long curved needle and goat intestine thread after a big battle leaves him wounded.
Brides of Dracula:  Dr Van Helsing receives a little bite from a vampire.  Knowing he must act quickly or be lost forever he grabs a hot branding iron and applies it liberally to the  neck wounds, then he pours liberal amounts of holy water on it.  Whew...that was close.

Losers:  Jensen is shot in the arm.  The Losers break into a mall drug store and sew him up on the check out counter.

Repo Men 2010:  A 9 year old girl performs knee replacement surgery on Beth in a truly eeewww scene.  While trying to save themselves from the "System" Repo Man and Beth cut each other and shove a barcode scanner into each other's guts to fake out the computer then they sew up the wounds with hot glue...

Dead Snow...after being bitten by a Nazi zombie, a medical student takes a fish hook, some nylon fishing string and duct tape to sew up a nasty bite wound.  The duct tape is a nice touch.  Let's not forget medical student afraid of blood chainsaws off his own arm after being zombie bitten.  He then starts a fire in the gaping stomach wound of a fallen zombie to cauterize the stump.  AWESOME!!!
Dawn of the Dead...various wounds are treated with cross stitch and morphine.
The Killer...after being shot in the arm the killer bites down on a twig the size of a telephone pole while the cop pours gunpowder in it to light and cauterize the hole.
Monte Walsh...after a fight Monte has a nasty gash over his eye sewn up with some thick black thread and a big gauge needle
The Road...father is shot in the leg with an arrow.  He digs out the arrow head with a knife then uses an old stapler to fasten the skin together
Pan's Labyrinth: 
the captain's maid stabs him in the back twice and then slices his mouth in her attempt to escape his torture.  He survives the attack and goes to his office and sews up his disfigured mouoth with a large gauge needle and thread.  Drinking some alcohol sterilizes it from the inside.  Owchie.
Punisher (2008)Frank's nose is broken during a crazy gun battle with the mafia. while on a stakeout he sniffs a few times realizing his schnozz is broken.  he sticks a pencil in his right nostril and gives it a rough tweak thus straightening the cartilage and making it easier to breathe.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN:  ANTON CHIGURE IS SHOT IN THE LEG.  HE MATTER-OF-FACTLY BLOWS UP A CAR AS A DIVERSION TO GET MEDICAL SUPPLIES FROM THE LOCAL PHARMACY. HE THEN GOES TO HIS HOTEL ROLLS OUT THE PLASTIC SHEETING AND PROCEEDS TO DISINFECT HIS LEG, PULL OUT THE EMBEDDED CLOTH, SHOOT IT WITH LIDoCAINe AND OTHERWISE PATCH HIMSELF UP.
BURN NOTICE:  OUR BURNED SPY MIKE WESTEN IS HIT BY A RICOCHET AND HAS HIS LOSER BROTHER DIG IT OUT WITH THINGS LAYING AROUND THE APARTMENT.  BIG TIME OUCHIE!
GHOSTRIDER HAS TO BE SEWN UP BY THE CARETAKER AFTER A RUN-IN WITH THE DEVIL'S SPAWN.  WHERE ELSE CAN A SEMI DEAD GUY GO FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT?
SERAPHIM FALLS:  EX-UNION CAPTAIN GIDEON IS SHOT IN THE ARM BY A SNIPER.  IT LEAVES A HUGE HOLE IN HIS ARM.  LACKING PROPER MEDICAL FACILITIES IN THE WILDERNESS, GIDEON USES A HEATED BOWIE KNIFE TO 1) EXTRACT THE BULLET, LEAVING AN EVEN BIGGER HOLE AND THEN USING THE HEATED KNIFE TO CAUTERIZE SAID HOLE.  HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.
MEMORY OF A KILLER: OUR ASSASSIN WITH ALZHEIMER'S IS SHOT IN A GUN BATTLE WITH POLICE.  LIKE ALL GOOD BELGIANS, HE BUYS SOME BOOZE, DRINKS A LITTLE THEN POURS A LOT ON THE GAPING HOLE AND LIGHTS IT ON FIRE WITH HIS LIGHTER. 
SHOOTER:  BOB LEE SWAGGER IS SHOT TWICE AFTER A PRESIDENTIAL ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT.  HE HOBBLES AROUND FOR AWHILE GUSHING BLOOD AND WINCING IN PAIN.  HE GETS SOME TUBING, SUGAR, DRINKING WATER AND A REALLY BIG NEEDLE.  HE PROCEEDS TO MAKE AN I.V. WITH THE WATER AND SUGAR AND STABS HIMSELF WITH THE BIG NEEDLE TO START THE JUICES FLOWING.  THEN HE USES SOME QUICK-CLOT POWDER AND DUMPS TONS OF IT INTO EACH BULLET HOLE.
QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER:  ONE OF THE BLOKES Q MEETS AT THE DOCK IS CUT UP IN A FIGHT.  HIS MATE SEWS UP HIS FACE THAT NIGHT WHEN THEY CAMP.   
KISS OF THE DRAGON:  JET LI'S CHARACTER IS WOUNDED IN A FIGHT.  BRIDGET FONDA SEWS HIM UP LIKE SHE'S HEMMING PANTS.
GOLGO 13:  GOLGO IS SHOT IN THE LEG AND USES A PENKNIFE TO EXTRACT THE BULLET ON HIS OWN. 
ROY MARTIN (HE WALKED BY NIGHT), (A PSYCHOTIC KILLER) IS SHOT IN THE CHEST BY POLICE.  HE ESCAPES THE TRAP AND GOES HOME TO  PERFORM A LITTLE BULLET EXTRACTION ON HIS OWN.  FIRST PROBE, THEN FORCEPS TO EXTRACT IT AND MUCH SWEATING AND TEETH GNASHING.
SAWYER (LOST)  SHOT IN THE ARM BY THE "OTHERS" SAWYER THEN DIGS IN THE HOLE WITH HIS FINGERS TO REMOVE THE BULLET.  I DON'T THINK HE SCREAMED ENOUGH IN PAIN FOR THAT ONE.
BOB (THE EDGE) IS THREATENING TO SHOOT CHARLES THE BILLIONAIRE.  BOB FALLS BACKWARD INTO A DEAD FALL AND PIERCES HIS FEMORAL ARTERY ON A STAKE.  OWWEE!  CHARLES GETS HIM TO A CABIN AND TRIES TO SAVE HIM BY READING UP ON SURVIVAL SURGERY.  ALAS, BOB DOESN'T MAKE IT.
DR. JACK SHEPPARD (LOST) IN THE PILOT EPISODE HAS BEEN HIT BY PLANE SHRAPNEL AND NEEDS A LITTLE SIDE STITCH.  HE ASKS GOOD OLD KATE TO SEW HIM UP LIKE SHE WOULD HER LIVING ROOM DRAPES.

JASON BOURNE (BOURNE IDENTITY, BOURNE SUPREMACY, BOURNE ULTIMATUM) FIRST SEEN PICKLING IN THE BRINY MED, HE GETS FISHED OUT OF THE WATER BY SOME FISHERMEN.  THE CAPTAIN FORTUNATELY HAS A KNIFE AND SURGICAL SKILL AND NEATLY REMOVES 3 SLUGS FROM HIS BACK NOT TO MENTION HIS LITTLE BANK ACCOUNT LASER ID.  LUCKILY FOR BOURNE, THE SEA WATER PRESERVED HIS BODY.  NEXT, AFTER MANY HARROWING EXPERIENCES, BOURNE IS SHOT IN THE ARM AFTER A CRAZY CAR CHASE.  HE'S TOUGHENED UP A BIT BECAUSE HE JUST POURS VODKA ON IT.  PERHAPS HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE EUROPEAN HOSPITALS...
BRAVEHEART ~ HAMISH'S DAD IS SHOT IN THE SHOULDER WITH AN ARROW DURING THE HEAT OF BATTLE.  LATER AT CAMP HE'S GIVEN SOME SPIRITS TO LIFT HIS SPIRITS AS THE ARROW IS YANKED OUT AND THE HOLE STUFFED WITH YUCKY LOOKING STUFF.  LATER DEAR OLD DA LOOSES A HAND IN A BATTLEAXE MISHAP.   THE McSTUMP IS BORN.
CAPTAIN CHRIS WINFIELD (INTERCEPTOR) SUFFERS A NASTY ARM WOUND DURING A FIGHT WITH BAD HIJACKER TERRORIST TYPES.  HAVING NO TIME FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT HE DOES THE MANLY MAN THING AND MERELY WIPES OFF THE BLOOD WITH HIS TORN UNIFORM SHIRT.  WHAT A GUY.
PAUL KERSEY (DEATH WISH) WHILE PURSUING HIS NEW CAREER ENDEAVOR IS SLICED IN THE SHOULDER BY AN ERSATZ MUGGER.  GOOD THING HE HAS PLENTY OF PEROXIDE AND COTTON WADS AT HOME. 
JOHN WAHL (TIDAL WAVE NO ESCAPE) RECEIVES A PESKY ARM WOUND AFTER BEING TOSSED AROUND BY THE TIDAL WAVE.   HIS PARTNER JESSICA WHIPS OUT A NEEDLE AND THREAD HAVING BEEN THROUGH 2 YEARS OF PRE MED AND SEWS HIM UP LIKE SHE WAS DARNING A SOCK.  MUST HAVE PUT 40 STITCHES IN THAT SUCKER.  AND OF COURSE SHE CHEWS OFF THE END OF THE THREAD AFTER FINISHING THE JOB.
JOHN LEE (REPLACEMENT KILLERS) IS SHOT IN THE SHOULDER WHEN SAVING A POLICE MAN'S KID.  HE USES THAT ANCIENT CHINESE REMEDY OF LOADING THE BULLET HOLE WITH DRY ASHES.  DON'T KNOW WHO'S ASHES.  DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
JOHN RAMBO (FIRST BLOOD) SEWS UP NASTY GASH IN UPPER ARM AFTER PLUNGING OVER A CLIFF AND FALLING THROUGH SOME TREE BRANCHES. KNIT ONE PEARL TWO.  IT'S A GOOD THING HE HAD A NEEDLE AND THREAD IN THE HANDLE OF HIS KNIFE.  Rambo also has to use gunpowder to seal up a through and through injury in Rambo 3.
JACK CREWS (BLACK DOG) PUTS GUN POWDER IN A BULLET HOLE IN HIS ARM AND LIGHTS IT UP.  LOVE THE SMELL OF BURNING FLESH IN THE MORNING.
DALTON (ROADHOUSE) IS SLICED IN THE ARM IN A BAR FIGHT.  HE SEWS IT UP HIMSELF A LA JOHN RAMBO.  LATER HE IS SLICED IN THE SIDE, BUT GETS ACTUAL MEDICAL ASSISTANCE FOR THIS WOUND.
DR. STEPHEN MATURIN (MASTER AND COMMANDER) IS ACCIDENTALLY SHOT BY THE CAPTAIN OF MARINES AND OPERATES ON HIMSELF TO DIG OUT THE BULLET AND THE PIECE OF SHIRT THAT IS FESTERING INSIDE THE HOLE.  IT'S NICE TO HAVE FRIENDS WHO CARE.
UNNAMED ALIEN (PREDATOR) THE ALIEN IS SHOT UP PRETTY BADLY AND IS BLEEDING GREEN GOO EVERYWHERE.  USING THE HANDY ALIEN REPAIR KIT ON HIS UTILITY BELT HE SPRITZES ANTISEPTIC ON IT AND THEN CLIPS IT TOGETHER WITH A HANDY METAL CLIP.  I'D SCREAM LOUDLY TOO!
SAM (RONIN) IS SHOT IN A GUN FIGHT WITH OPPOSING FORCES AND IS FORCED TO REMOVE THE BULLET IN HIS SIDE (SHADES OF MASTER AND COMMANDER).  THEN HE PASSES OUT.
CHARLIE (LOST) SUFFERS A NASTY HEAD WOUND AND GETS A LITTLE GUNPOWDER BAND AID TO STOP THE BLEEDING.
CARL SHOWALTER (FARGO) IS SHOT IN THE FACE BY WADE GUSTAFSON DURING THE BOTCHED "RANSOM" DROP.  THE NEXT TIME WE SEE CARL HE IS SPORTING A KLEENEX BAND AID.  NOT A PRETTY PICTURE.  AT LEAST THE FACIAL WOUND IS A SMALL WHEN INJURY COMPARED TO THE WOOD CHIPPER.

THE NEW AND IMPROVED FOOD PARALLELOGRAM FULLY DISAPPROVED BY THE U. S. DEPARTMENT OF AGGRAVATION:
we are what we are:  a family of white trash cannibals survives on the kindness and tasty flesh of neighbors to make it through another day.
After the Dark:  during a philosophical apocalypse class, to prevent starvation classmates must eat dead members of their group.  Some kill themselves afterward making more meat for the surviving members.
Yeti:  survivors of a plane crash in the Himalayas resort to frying up their dead teammates in order prolong their freezing to death or waiting to get eaten by the yeti.

BLACK SHEEP:  A KIWI SHEEP FARMER/GENETIC MUTATION SCIENTIST IS ATTACKED BY HIS OWN MUTATED SHEEP.  HE ASKS THEM TO HAVE HIM ONE MORE TIME AND THEY DO, STARTING WITH HIS PECKER.
LAND OF THE DEAD:  NEAR THE END THE ZOMBIES HAVE AN INTESTINE EATING CONTEST AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LAST HUMANS IN TOWN.  
SIN CITY: 
ANGELIC KEVIN DINES ON THE SOFT FLESH OF HOOKERS FOR FUN AND RECREATION.
1000 THANKS TO QOTOTV FOR REMINDING US OF THIS OOOHHH SO TASTY ADDITION TO THE PARALLELOGRAM:  AS REPORTED, EATING BRAINS IN THE MOVIES IS NOTHING NEW.  BUT EATING THEM WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN USE IS A FAIRLY NOVEL APPROACH.  IN HANNIBAL ( REALLY BAD MOVIE) LEAVE IT TO GOOD OLD DR. LECHTER TO SERVE UP TASTY BRAIN WEDGES STRAIGHT FROM THE ACTIVE CRANIAL CAVITY OF RAY LIOTTA'S CHARACTER SAUTEED IN GARLIC AND BUTTER TO OUR LITTLE STARLING.  UMMM, FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!   D'OH!!!
WHILE ON THE SUBJECT OF DR. LECHTER, LET US NOT FORGET OUR FAVORITE POP CULTURE MEAL:  I ATE HIS LIVER WITH FAVA BEANS AND A NICE KEYANTEE!   PHHHHTTHHHHHPPHHHTTT!
NECESSARY ROUGHNESS ~ EVANDER HOLYFIELD PLAYS A CONVICT FOOTBALL PLAYER BROUGHT IN TO HELP THE ARMADILLOS TOUGHEN UP.  AS HE BOARDS THE BUS AFTER THE PRACTICE GAME HE TURNS TO HIS BUDDY AND LAMENTS, " I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.  I THINK I SWALLOWED A FINGER."  AND WE KNOW IT WASN'T A LADY FINGER...OOO LA LA.
RAVENOUS ~ IN THE WILDERNESS ALMOST ANYTHING GOES WHEN SURVIVAL IS AT STAKE.  EATING YOUR FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS CAN COME IN VERY HANDY...GET IT.
ALIEN APOCALYPSE ~ EVIL GIANT MITES FROM ANOTHER WORLD CONQUER THE EARTH AND ENSLAVE MANKIND.  EVERYONE WHO HAS SURVIVED THE INVASION IS PUT TO WORK IN THE SAWMILLS.  (EVIL GIANT MITES LOVE WOOD)  IF YOU ESCAPE AND ARE RECAPTURED A FINGER IS CUT OFF AND GIVEN TO THE EGM FOR A BLOODY GOOD SNACK.
THE EXORCIST ~ OK, REGAN WASN'T ACTUALLY EATING THE PEA SOUP, BUT AT LEAST SHE SHARED HER BOUNTY WITH FATHER KARAS.
DEMOLITION MAN ~ OUR FAVORITE NEANDERTHAL COP JOHN SPARTAN GOES UNDERGROUND FOR A HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY MEAL...BURGERS DE RATA, AL PASTOR NO DOUBT.
FLESH AND BLOOD ~ WHAT DO MEDIEVAL WARRIORS DO WHEN THEY ARE TRAPPED BY MARAUDERS AND SO THIRSTY THEY COULD DRINK FROM THE WELL?  WELL, A WELL THAT HAS HAD A DOG RIDDLED WITH THE BLACK DEATH THROWN INTO IT AND FERMENTED FOR A DAY OR SO.  BOILS AND ROTTING SKIN HERE WE COME!
MISSING IN ACTION 2: THE BEGINNING ~ COL. BRADDOCK IS TORTURED BY BEING STRUNG UP BY HIS WRISTS AND HAVING A BURLAP BAG FILLED WITH A BIG RAT TIED OVER HIS HEAD.  THE BAG SHAKES FURIOUSLY AND WHEN REMOVED BRADDOCK HAS CHOWED DOWN ON RATA AL PASTOR.  UM UM GUD!
BE VEWY VEWY KWIET...KEEP THE KIDDIES AWAY FROM THE RABBIT STEW COMPLIMENTS OF DAD'S PSYCHO MISTRESS IN FATAL ATTRACTION.
MONKEYSHINES ~ A QUADRIPLEGIC'S ASSISTANT MONKEY IS INJECTED WITH HUMAN BRAIN CELLS UNTIL IT BECOMES A HOMICIDAL MANIAC (OOOO, UNEXPECTED SIDE EFFECT)  THE QUAD IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE HIS OWN LIFE AND THAT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND LULLS THE MONKEY INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND BITES IT IN THE NECK AND SHAKES IT FURIOUSLY SIDE TO SIDE UNTIL IT IS DEAD.  SORRY, NO MONKEY BRAINS HERE.
SLEEPWALKERS ~ WHILE ON PROTECTION DUTY A DEPUTY SHERIFF EATS DINNER WITH THE FAMILY HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING.  THE MOTHER SLEEPWALKER HAS GOTTEN INTO THE HOUSE AND STABS THE GUY IN THE BACK WITH A CORN COB.  HE DEFINITELY GOT ENOUGH FIBER IN HIS MEAL.
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM ~ WHO CAN FORGET THE LOVELY BUFFET OF MONKEY BRAINS, GIANT BEETLES, SNAKES AND LEECHES.  MAY I HAVE SECONDS ON THE BRAINS PLEASE.
CONAN THE BARBARIAN ~ IN DOOM'S ORGY ROOM THE CHEF WHIPS UP A FIVE FINGERED SURPRISE FOR THE HUNGRY GUESTS.  THAT'S WHAT I LIKE, A FULL BODIED SOUP.
KISS THE GIRLS ~ I'LL HAVE A LITTLE LEAD WITH MY MILK.  AFTER A FIERCE STRUGGLE IN THE KITCHEN THE NASTY BAD MAN IS SHOT THROUGH THE MILK BY THE COP.
ANOTHER LACTOSE INTOLERANT MOMENT:  TERMINATOR 2 THE T1000 PUNCTURES DEAR OLD FOSTER DAD THROUGH HIS MILK CARTON.
MONSTER MAN ~ YOU'VE BEEN CURSED BY A NUT JOB.  THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE YOURSELF IS TO HAVE A HEAPING, STEAMING BOWL OF FRESH EYEBALL STEW.  NOTHIN' SAYS LOVIN' LIKE GOOD HOME COOKING.  IRISH EYES ARE SMILING. 
  
  

MISCELLANEOUS NUGGETS: 
Just an odd thread of coincidences...

Inspector Lewis...2008 Katrina and Ichabod Crane (the actors that play them on the Sleepy Hollow series) are both murdered in heinous fashions
Inspector Lewis...has dealings with the Mayfield Scholars
Inspector Lewis...A woman named Ligeia is murdered on Halloween.  A Medium named Van Tassel had a premonition.  The actor who played Prometheus on Penny Dreadful had affair with Medium.  Inspector Lestrade was along for the ride.

Hallmark Movie Chance at Romance...the woman in question arrives at the town of Willoughby...it's a place around the bend where he could jump off. Willoughby? Whatever it is, it comes with sunlight and serenity, and is a part of The Twilight Zone.  .this is really funny for those of you who have brains.

Jack Ryan connection:  Colm Feore appears in Sum of All Fears (wretched movie) and jack ryan shadow recruit.

Star trek: What was the particle of pre-animate material in the Matrix?  Keanu Reeves

Doug Hutchison (eugene tooms liver eater and kind of creepy guy) played a correctional officer in the green mile who wanted to work in a looney bin and was later incarcerated in one and he played looney bin jim in 2008 punisher

Rutger Hauer (now starring in Hobo with a Shotgun) has starred as DRACULA twice:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie and Dracula III Legacy

Row row row your boat...dirty harry and invasion uSA both have a school bus full of children in peril.  the kids break out in a rousing rendition of rRRYB.  wTF?  in dante'S peak the same song is sung as the family paddles across lake acid trying to get to the other side.  In Manos; Hands of Fate our intrepid vacationers sing it to relieve the tension.  does it really make the situation all better and less intense?

Scenes too unbelievable to be believed:  Breaker Breaker...the Chuck norris classic.  chuck and the bad sheriff face off for a pivotal fight scene.  the scene is in the corral.  there is a horse in the corral with them.  as they are dancing around each other the horse is prancing counterclockwise to their action.  wtf chuck?!?!?!?

An episode of Seinfeld: Jerry is standing outside a store that has a big picture of Bobby Banana (Dole's spokes-banana in the window.
)

Columbo 1977 Trish Van Devere produces a movie The Professional about a hit man.  Is this where Luc Besson got his idea for Leon, the Professional?????

1939:  The pre-courser to "SHIT HAPPENS"; The Ringo Kid says "things happen" in the movie stagecoach.

1975 Carrie...
John Travolta's Billy is telling his friend at the slaughter house to "git her done" regarding killing the pig for the blood to dump on Carrie at the prom.  Do you suppose that's where Larry The Cable Guy got his phrase "git 'er done"??

The Heart wants what the heart wants...pearls of wisdom from lake placid and lost

way of the dragon...bruce lee and chuck norris both limber up before their pivotal fight scene stripping down in front of a kitten who raptly watches their fight

Satan's pee is flammable.  We learned this in End of Days

Sullivan's Travels...the movie the director was making was supposed to be Oh Brother Where art thou?  Kind of funny.

KELLY LYNCH STARRED WITH PATRICK SWAYZE IN ROADHOUSE AND WITH DON SWAYZE IN THE VISITATION.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IN 1983 WAS JOHNNY SMITH IN THE DEAD ZONE.  A TEACHER WHO AWAKENS FROM A COMA AFTER 5 YEARS.  WHILE TUTORING ONE DAY HE MENTIONS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN FROM SLEEPY HOLLOW.  WHO KNEW THAT IN 1999 HE WOULD STAR AS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN IN SLEEPY HOLLOW.

Richard Donner directs an episode of the wild wild west.  in it artemus has to diffuse a bomb by cutting the correct wire.  HAD IT BEEN A COLOR EPISODE WOULD IT HAVE BEEN RED OR BLUE?  JAMES ALSO FINDS A MODEL RIVERBOAT ON A BUREAU THAT IS A CLUE TO ARTEMUS' WHEREABOUTS.  ARE THESE PRECURSORS TO SCENES IN LETHAL WEAPON AND MAVERICK?

WHAT WOULD BE THE REASON THE HISTORY CHANNEL WOULD SHOW THE MOVIE JAWS?   THINK ABOUT IT.  IT MAKES SENSE IN A BIZARRE KIND OF WAY.

MOTEL HELL:  AS MOVIES GO THIS IS PRETTY CHEESEY, BUT IT IS FUN AND THERE IS A NICE LITTLE CHAINSAW FIGHT BETWEEN THE COP AND THE OWNER OF THE HOTEL.  DON'T EAT ANYTHING THAT IS GROWN IN THE GARDEN...

ROBOCOP CONNECTIONS:  SEASON 5 OF 24 BOASTS NOT ONE, BUT TWO ROBOCOP STARS.  PETER WELLER AND PAUL MCCRANE  Season 7 of 24 has  Kurtwood Smith
(Clarence Boddicker) as the senator who wants to crucify Jack.

1956 RICHARD BASEHART STARRED IN MOBY DICK WITH GREGORY PECK.  HE WAS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF AHAB'S VENGEANCE VOYAGE FOR THE WHITE WHALE.  IN 1964 AS ADMIRAL NELSON ON VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, HE AGAIN COMES IN CONTACT WITH A MAN BENT ON DESTROYING THE LARGEST WHALE EVER TO SWIM THE SEVEN SEAS.  ADMIRAL NELSON IS CONFRONTED BY CAPTAIN CRANE TO READ A PASSAGE FROM MOBY DICK ABOUT THE NATURE OF CAPTAIN AHAB AND HIS THIRST FOR VENGEANCE.  NELSON'S REPLY IS I KNOW ALL ABOUT AHAB.  WAS THAT A NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK EVEN THEN?

DeFOREST KELLEY, AN ACTOR BEFORE BEING CAST AS "BONES" ON THE REAL STAR TREK, PORTRAYED MORGAN EARP IN THE GUNFIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL. IRONICALLY HE WAS CAST AS TOM McLAURY IN SPECTRE OF THE GUN IN SEASON 3 OF STAR TREK WHERE KIRK'S KNOWLEDGE OF THE GUNFIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL WAS TO USED AS THE INSTRUMENT OF THE CREW'S DEATHS.

JOHN IRELAND:  BILLY CLANTON IN MY DARLING CLEMENTINE AND JOHNNY RINGO IN THE GUNFIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL.  HE JUST COULDN'T GET OUT OF TOMBSTONE ALIVE.

LINDA DARNELL CONNECTION TO A REALLY ANNOYING DITTY:  EL SOMBRERO BLANCO.  IN THE MASK OF ZORRO HER CHARACTER AND DON DIEGO VEGA DANCE A SILLY DANCE.  IN MY DARLING CLEMENTINE HER CHARACTER, A BAR FLOOZIE AND GIRLFRIEND OF DOC HOLLIDAY'S, DANCES AROUND AGAIN TO THE SAME SONG.

OUR VIDEO GIRILLA GERTRUDE NOTES THAT IN THE MOVIE YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE THE SOUND OF THE SIRENS THAT GO OFF WHEN JAMES BOND ESCAPES THE CLUTCHES OF THE EVIL BAD GUYS IS THE SAME SOUND USED IN THE MULTI-PLAYER GAME OPERATION FLASHPOINT WHEN THE BAD GUYS ARE ALERTED TO THE PRESENCE OF THE GOOD GUYS.  IT IS PRETTY FUNNY.
 
ANOTHER FLASHPOINT COMPARISON:  IN THE MOVIE SPARTAN AN AGENT IS SHOT IN THE HEAD FROM A LONG DISTANCE.  A SINGLE SHOT THAT SPRAYS HIS GREY MATTER AND VITAL HEAD FLUIDS OUT IN A MAGNIFICENT FAN LIKE SPRAY PATTERN.  WHEN NEXT HE IS SEEN LAYING PROSTATE IN THE GRASS, IT IS SEVERELY RED AROUND HIS DEAD HEAD.

In the movie Darkest Hour (2011), the survivors of an alien invasion seek refuge in a shopping mall in Russia.  It is the exact same building from the video game Rainbow Six.  It's pretty funny.  It's destroyed in the same way as in the game.

THERE IS A LITTLE MOVIE CALLED TARGET STARRING DENNIS HOPPER WEARING A WIG SO BAD EVEN WILLIAM SHATNER WOULD BLUSH.  HOPPER IS A GANGSTER AND HE LIVES IN A BEAUTIFUL EURO TRASH TYPE VILLA.  THIS VILLA IS THE SPITTING IMAGE RIGHT DOWN TO THE STAIRWAY ON THE LEFT OF THE FRONT DOOR, TO THE STAIRS THAT GO DOWN TO THE GARAGES OF THE VILLA IN A TASTY LITTLE SHOOTER GAME CALLED RAVEN SHIELD.  IT'S REALLY KIND OF FUNNY BECAUSE YOU CAN FOLLOW ALONG AND THINK, HEY I SHOT 3 TERRORISTS THERE  OR, OH SHIT, I GOT FRAGGED ON THAT STAIRWAY

DURING THE MOVIE BATTLE WARRIOR, BAD BY ANY MEASURE, THE MUSIC PLAYED DURING THE FIGHT SCENES RANGES FROM JAMES BOND THEME TO STAR WARS.  SAD, SO SAD 

MISSING BODY PARTS...FOR REAL:  DON'T KNOW WHY THIS HAS INTRIGUED THE NUT GATHERER...all time favorite Bruce Campbell
John Rhys-Davies, Oliver Platt,  Sam Rockwell,
Pat Hingle, Telly Savalas, Lee Van Cleef, Jon Polito, Lee Majors, Matthew Perry, Eric Roberts, Tim DeKay, Denzel Washington, Joss Ackland, Ken Watanabe, John Alderson, Harrison Ford, John Cusack, Toni Collette, Christopher Lee, Tom Hardy, Dean Winters all have this in common:  they all have missing or deformed digits.  Odd.

NOTABLE EARLY MOVIE APPEARANCE: 
Ron Eldard of Mystery Alaska, Black Hawk Down, When Trumpets Fade and the now cancelled Blind Justice, appears for a brief and shining moment as a young police officer making a routine traffic stop.  The woman he stops is nervous and freaks out and shoots a humongous and bloody hole in his head.  Why, because news all over town is that a cop is on a killing spree and this woman was taking her survival into her own hands.  Eldard's cop was not the killer and he has become another victim of paranoia.  The movie starring our Hero Bruce Campbell is none other than MANIAC COP 1988.

Early appearance by Allstate Mayhem (Dean Winters) in 1999 Undercover Angel...too cute to be believed he ended up in OZ

Johnny Knoxville shows up in a bar crowd scene in Coyote Ugly.

Jeff Goldblum has the dubious honor of having had the credit in his first movie appearance as Freak #1 in 1974's Death Wish.  He was one of the trio of attackers that started the chain of events that led to a rise in vigilante-ism in New York.   At least he wasn't Freak #2!

THINGS THAT MAKE RUFUS CLYDE CHUCKLE:
 
1933 VERSION TARZAN THE FEARLESS STARRING BUSTER CRABBE (LATER FLASH GORDON) --- THE OPENING SCENES HAVE OUR GUILELESS JUNGLE HERO SITTING IN A TREE TOP WITH HIS FAITHFUL CHIMPANZEE WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE GRABS THE MONKEY AND SPANKS HIM.  LET'S FACE IT, THAT'S FUNNY!

Night of the Lepus.  This is one awesome horror movie premise.  Giant mutant killer bunnies terrorize a sleepy Arizona town in 1972.  The scenes of the bunnies running rampant cracks up Team Apeonaut every time.  And it has one helluva cast!  Lepus was one of Pater Apeonaut's favorite Saturday creature features on Moona Lisa's show.

UNCONVENTIONAL PETS:  Wolf - Lone Wolf McQuade ~ Armadillo - Invasion USA ~ Tortoise - China Syndrome ~ Armadillo - Dracula

DEATH SCENES TO BE PROUD OF: 
Hardcore Henry:  a titty bar john has a silver serving platter thrust into his cranium
Banshee:  Chayten is finally cornered by Lucas in New Orleans.  Lucas shoots out his side with a shotgun blast.  Lovely graphic.  Then shoots off his face.  Awesome!
You're Next:  Once it's known Felix is not a victim but the instigator of the bloody mayhem he is killed with a blender to the head.  He has also killed his brother with not less than 7 screwdrivers to the chest.
The Colony:  the lead cannibal has the top of his head cut off with a tanning knife after trying to kill the hero.  Pretty awesome.
You're Next:  Running out of the house and into a thin metal wire stretched across the door frame can certainly leave a mark.  And so can the 8 screwdrivers plunged into your chest.  Having the top of your head ground up in a heavy duty kitchen blender can leave a mark too.
Any SYFY Channel movie that has people losing their heads in the mouths of monsters.
Endangered Species: Peter Coyote is tossed over a railing and falls a couple of stories onto a concrete floor.  Looking down from above his body is akimbo.  When his cohorts remove his carcass, brain matter is stuck to the floor. Cool.
1. Priest:  lady priest snaps a guy on his motorcycle up with her metal whip and slices him into big chunks of meat.
2. Endgame: assassin in assassin school kills a co-worker with the business end of a paper shredder.  At first he just shreds off the guy's nose, then he must think, screw it and shreds the man to death.
3. Long Kiss Goodnight: Timothy falls from the helicopter on to the top of the tanker truck holding the bomb, when it blows so does he...as his head and face go in on direction the rest of him goes in
several others simultaneously!

4. Final Destination 5:  so many from which to chose, but the flying wrench to the face was the bast.
5. Stiletto:  Assassin Raina Mavias runs a tire iron through a thug's head after he tries to kill her.
6. Carriers:  carload of Christian ladies shoots back when the gang tries to steal their gas.
7. Invasion USA: Chuck blows Rostov out the window using a LAWS rocket...it's time to die
8. Final Destination 5: falling off the bridge and becoming impaled on the tall mast of the sailing ship below in the river
9. Odessa File:  Peter Miller kills SS assassin in Klaus Wenzer's Heidelberg printing press.
10. Sammy J. getting eaten by the blue devil shark in Deep Blue Sea
11. Amy Irving making John Cassavettes blow up in The Fury.  Excellent effect for 1978
12. Omen 3-The Final Conflict....the President's press secretary rigs his own office so the next person to open his door causes a shotgun to take off the top of his head.  Great special effect for 1981
13. The sheriff of Ogden Marsh is stabbed in the hand to the floor by a Crazy.  He then rips the knife out of the floor and plunges it while it's still stuck through his hand into the neck of the Crazy thus killing her.
14. Billy Zane in Dead Calm takes a flare to the face when Sam Neill wants him off his boat.
15. The Butcher (Eric Roberts) during a shootout in a bar blasts the head off an opponent with a shot gun.  OW!
16. Nasty warlord takes a knife in the guts and is nearly vivisected by Rambo.
17. The cook in Pandorum gets a hypodermic in the eye.
18. In First Blood 2 the NV officer in charge of POW camp is killed by an explosive arrow enema delivered by Rambo.
19. In the movie Deceived John Hurd's character thinks he's going to get away with murdering Goldie Hawn's character who is hiding in a freight elevator.  He opens the gate, takes a step forward and whoopsie, first step is a doozie.  She's sent the elevator down and was standing on a small ledge.
20. I
N THE OPENING SEQUENCE OF TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. A TERRORIST THREATENS TO BLOW HIMSELF UP.  WILLIAM PETERSEN'S COP TRIES TO TALK HIM DOWN.  THE COP'S PARTNER HAS SNUCK UP BEHIND THE TERRORIST AND PULLS HIM OFF THE ROOF AT THE SAME TIME THE DETONATOR IS BEING ACTIVATED.  THE TERRORIST BLOWS UP INTO SUSHI SIZED BITS AS HE FALLS OFF THE BUILDING.  GREAT EFFECT.
21. DAVID THEWLIS, PLAYING KEITH JENNINGS, THE MAN TRYING TO CONVINCE ROBERT THORN HIS SON IS THE DEVIL INCARNATE, IS LEAVING THE HIDING PLACE OF THE MAN WHO WANTS THORN TO SNUFF OUT THE SPAWN OF SATAN.  HE IS CARRYING THE CEREMONIAL KNIVES THAT ARE TO BE USED.  HE STOPS AND AS BAD LUCK, COINCIDENCE OR SATAN HIMSELF WOULD HAVE IT A METAL BRACKET FALLS AND BREAKS THE SUPPORT HOLDING UP A DECORATIVE GRATE.  IT SWINGS DOWN WITH GREAT FORCE AND DECAPITATES MR. JENNINGS.  OOPS.
22. FUNNY MAN JACK BLACK (SCHOOL OF ROCK) PLAYS A MACHINE FABRICATOR WHO TRIES TO EXTORT MORE MONEY FROM BRUCE WILLIS'S JACKAL.  THE JACKAL DOESN'T LIKE THAT AND SUGGESTS THEY GO OUT TO TEST THE WEAPON (A GUN THAT LOOKS MORE SUITED TO A NAVAL VESSEL) HE HAS JUST PURCHASED.  STUPID!!!!  THE JACKAL POINTS IT AT BLACK AND TELLS HIM TO RUN.  WITH AN UNGAINLY GAIT AND WHILE LOOSING HIS BRITCHES BLACK'S CHARACTER RUNS BACK AND FORTH THROUGH A MARSHY AREA THEN COMES TO REST NEAR A CAR.  THE JACKAL TELLS HIM TO HOLD UP A PACK OF CIGARETTES FOR HIM TO TAKE AIM ON.  HIS FIRST SHOT TAKES OFF HIS FOREARM.  OWWIE!  JACKAL TELLS HIM TO STAND BY THE CAR WHILE HE STILL CAN AND LETS LOOSE ON FULL AUTO.  BLACK AND THE CAR DISAPPEAR IN A BLAZE OF GORY.
23. PAUL MCCRANE (EMIL FROM ROBOCOP)  PARTICIPATES IN THE KILLING OF OFFICER MURPHY.  NEAR THE END OF THE MOVIE ROBOCOP SPILLS A VAT OF TOXIC GOO ON EMIL THAT STARTS TO LIQUIFY HIM IMMEDIATELY.  THEN DURING A HIGH SPEED CHASE CLARENCE BODDICKER IN HIS 6000SUX HITS HIM HEAD ON AND HE EXPLODES INTO A JUICY SPLOOSHY MESS ALL OVER THE WINDSHIELD.  THIS ONE CAN BE CATEGORIZED AS A GREAT HIT AND RUN ALSO.

BEST SCENE IN A MOVIE:
Flight of the Phoenix:  after days in the desert with no hope Richard Attenborough lets loose with the most believable laugh of desperation ever uttered on the silver screen.  It is sad, creepy, scary and totally realistic sounding as he goes off the deep end.

Watchmen: Rorschach is in his prison cell and manages to grab the hands of a hefty henchman and tie them inside the cell.  What did that get you?  Your hands.  What did that do for you?  By my count it's 1-0.  The baddie tells another henchman to saw through hefty's arms to get him out of the way.  After doing so he also saws through the lock and upon bursting in is thrown head first into the toilet bowl and then electrocuted.  That's 2-0.  Classic.

Dean Martin in The Silencers is awakened by his remote bed that moves him silently across the bedroom floor, raises up and lets him slide into his large bubble bath with his secretary, Lovey Cravesit.  The 60's finest cheese.

Yojimbo:  The inimitable Toshiro Mifune is strutting through town after the gangs have sliced each other up and a scraggly little dog runs passed him with a severed human hand in his mouth...priceless

A SCENE THAT MAKES THE MONKEYS LAUGH EACH AND EVERY TIME THEY SEE IT COMES IN TURNER IN HOOCH WHEN OUR HERO MEETS HOOCH FOR THE FIRST TIME.  HOOCH BURSTS OUT OF HIS HOME AND CHARGES DOWN THE DOCK TOWARD SCOTT, THE SLOW MOTION PHOTOGRAPHY OF THIS WONDERFUL DOG IS WET YOUR PANTS FUNNY AS HIS LIPS AND EARS FLAP IN THE BREEZE, HIS EYES GO WIDE AND HIS FUNNY VAMPIRE TEETH GNASH AND FLASH WHILE HIS TONGUE FLOPS AND SLOPS DROOLEY DROOL ALL OVER THE PLACE.
 
SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING IN THE CLUB POOL IN THE MOVIE CADDY SHACK.  THIS SILLINESS LEADS UP TO THE BABY RUTH DOODIE INCIDENT.

PRINTING COUNTERFEIT MONEY USING VAN SON INKS IN TO LIVE AND DIE IN LA

MISCELLANY:  GARY OLDMAN MAKES A BEETHOVEN REFERENCE IN THE PROFESSIONAL.  LITTLE DID HE KNOW HE'D BE PLAYING BEETHOVEN IN IMMORTAL BELOVED.  Kurt Russell makes an Elvis reference in Tango and Cash.  Sly Stallone utters Rambo is a Pussy in the same movie

ESPERANTO: 
A LANGUAGE LESS THAN FIVE MILLION PEOPLE SPEAK TODAY.  WHAT MOVIE HAS THE DUBIOUS DISTINCTION OF HAVING BEEN THE ONLY MOVIE FILMED IN ESPERANTO?  IT DOES HAVE SOMEONE FAMOUS IN IT WHO IS NOW ENJOYING A RENAISSANCE IN HIS TWILIGHT YEARS.

GREAT HITS AND RUN:
Hunter's Prayer:  bad guys are shooting at them and he backs over the shooter with a little caar, then runs over him again.  The skull cracking is impressive.
MI5 Rogue Nation:  Bad guy gets off motorcycle, saunters over to Ethan Hunt to kill him and BAM...hit by a 4x4
Drive Angry:  bad guy is shooting at Milton while standing in the middle of the street.  Bad guy cohorts speeding on the same road run head on and smack/explode the bad guy with their fast moving iron.
Criminal Minds (TV):  Will Wheaton's serial killer character is hit and run over by a semi in the climax after a tiring chase though the woods.

Rambo 3:  Rambo in an attempt to flee Afghanistan with Col. Trautman drives a tank into a helicopter at full speed.  Kaboom!
Cobra: A security guard is slammed into an elevator by a speeding van driven by the bad guys
Monk Series Finale: Kazerinski is hit by a train after being chased by the captain.   Stain on the tracks...eeewwww
Fast and Furious 4: Phoenix is crushed between two heavy metals.
Ghost Town:  Pinkus is hit by bus a la Final Destination
Marine:  John Triton grabs Angie by the coat and tosses her out of the truck cab into the front of a moving bus.  She goes kersplat.  Talk about blood diamonds.
Maximum Overdrive:
  Just when you think it's safe to cross the road the Green Goblin big rig comes out of nowhere and flattens your ass.
Magnum Force:  Dirty Harry plays chicken with a bad motorcycle cop on the deck of an aircraft carrier.  He goes splat.
Death Sentence:  after the murdering a young man in a gas station the bad guy runs into the street yelling after his homies because they left him behind.  He is slammed into by a speeding car and tossed head over heels into the street.  Now that left a mark!!
Lost:  Juliet's ex-husband is unceremoniously hit by a fast moving bus conveniently getting him out of the way.
11:14:
  A girl is walking in the middle of the street at night oblivious to everything around her.  A van comes speeding up and blam, she goes flying several feet and lands with a splat.
Day After Tomorrow:  News reporter reporting on the really bad weather gets hit by a really big hunk of flying debris.  That one had to hurt.
Hidden:  Alien invaded driver of a beautiful Ferrari is fleeing the police at 90 plus miles an hour.  He runs up on to the sidewalk and takes out an old guy in a wheelchair.  Man, did that guy go flying.  Looked like Death Race 2000!  Who many points is a guy in a wheelchair?
Devil's Advocate:  Justice agent tries to tell Kevin all the bad things that are going on in the Devil's company of lawyers.  Devil sticks his finger in the holy water and bam a car hits the agent and before you can say pedestrian engineered bumper this guy does a triple gainer and goes head over tail over the car and ends up dead dead dead.
Final Destination:  Kid gets hit by bus.
Constantine:  Migrant possessed by demon gets hit by car.
Identity:  1) Hotel manager hits distraught father with pick up truck. 2) Kid's mother is hit by limo driver on the road 
Substitute 3:  Gangster is crushed against a wall by a speeding car.
Badder Santa:  Bad elf crushes one of the gang between van and car
Signs:  Preacher's wife is pinned to a tree by SUV.
Rapid Fire:  Evil drug lord Tommy Tao is hit by an L train after being beaten in a kung fu fight.
Foxes:  The car Jodie Foster is riding in slams full speed into a semi, the rear of which cleaves all the car passengers at the neck.  One of the great movie decapitation scenes. (This could also be considered a slice and dice.)  Many thanks to QOTOTV for this entry.

GEE THAT LOOKS AWFULLY FAMILIAR:
Iron Fist and Wick 2: stairs
Elementary and Law and Order:  Murder Stairs outside the brownstone
Elementary:  supposed to be in New York when the LB Tower is clearly visible in the window
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Victor Frankenstein share the same palatial grounds
Pretender, Regression, Between use the same building
Some Kind of Wonderful and Battle Creek use the same set of concrete stairs at the high school.
Frailty and The Barber share small town main street
Frailty and Twister have the same barn filled with sharp tools and Bill Paxton
The Haunting of Whaley House.  This supposedly takes place in San Diego where the actual haunted Whaley house exists.  The young adults have a conversation about breaking into the house while sitting in a cemetery that happens to be Sunnyside Cemetery in LONG BEACH!!!
Inspector Lewis and Fast & Furious 6 and Strike Back have the Heyford Military base in common
Inspector Lewis and Oxford Murders have a boarding house in common
Mercury Rising and Endangered Species use the same underground bunker
John Wick and Dead Man Down have a cemetery in common.
The movie Cellular and the TV show Castle share the empty brick house up the winding  road.  Bad guys must like the neighborhood.

Piranhaconda:  people are running around like crazy to evade Piranhaconda.  In one scene you hear the ringtone of the cell phone eaten by the dinosaur in Jurassic Park 3.
Into the Night and Scarface have 2 things in common...Michelle Pfieffer and the swimming pool and archway landscaping.
1979 Dracula love scene and the 1979 Disney Black Hole Dr Reinhardt death scene have several things in common:  the red swirling background, smoke, backlit characters, the same sweeping music and the main character dying in the arms of evil...watch them  you'll be amazed at the similarity
Dr. Hemlock's house in Eiger Sanction is the same house Col. Matrix lived in Commando
Lionheart and Stop or My Mom Will shoot are filmed in the same house.
The bridge from Highlander is the same bridge used in the Crestor commercials.
The motel in Identity and Faster are the same
The FBI tv series...the Griffith Observatory looks just like the Jeffersonian from Bones!
The International Tower and the green old hotel in downtown Long Beach were supposed to be Switzerland according to Human Target
The park bench on which Mozzie from White Collar is shot is the same bench they sit on in Back Up Plan when arguing about twins.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Commando visited the same mall for their high jinx.

Runaway and Eyeborgs use the same big fountain as a backdrop to muffle their conversation from listening devices.

Lake Placid 3 and Triassic Attack have 2 things in common, the grocery store and Colin Ferguson

X-Files The Face episode and Wargames were filmed in the same mission control set
X-Files Gender Bender episode and The Village were filmed on the same farm/village set

Tea with Mussolini and Perfume have the house on the bridge in common.

Black Swarm-tale of genetically altered hornets...Robert Englund stars as the scientist responsible...the swarm swarms Elm Street...How obvious can you be?!?!

Stealth and Rambo 3 both use the fortress on the hillside in Afghanistan as evil-doer HQ
Babylon AD and The 4400 share a tree lined highway in parting shots.
A precinct cop in the TV show The Forgotten in an Adult Film actor.  In his scene with Christian Slater he hands over some police files.

The Boondock Saints II warehouse is the same one used in Frequency where the deadly fire is held.

Sea Hunt, Mr. Guinea Pig episode 1962 was filmed at the Natural History Museum of LA...This is the same place that doubles as the Jeffersonian in Bones.
The factory in Substitute 4 with Treat Williams is the exact same floor plan as the factory in Raven Shield.  It is so much the same as they are creeping along it's like being in the video game.
Leti's funeral in Fast & Furious 4 was filmed in the Sunnyside Cemetery in Long Beach, CA.  The gunfight after the mountain tunnel chase was filmed in the unused oil company property half a
block from Team Apeonaut's day job.
The Cell and The Hostage have the same shitty bad guy house for a location.  It's right next to the Echo Park Church on Sunset.  Team Apeonaut used to have headquarters right up the hill.
The police chief in
Saw V is an adult film actor.
Catherine Bell ex of JAG has performed in an adult film.
The wife in the AT&T commercial with the cute kid, the monkey and the daddy that goes to London with the monkey is an adult film actress.

Eastern Promises and Revolver use the same back loading dock.
Dexter:  Doughnut shop (Angel Food Donuts) where Ramon Prado grabs a hood and stuffs him in his trunk is only 2 blocks away from Team Apeonaut HQ.

The Eagle's Pass Hotel in Texas is the same building used in John Carpenter's Vampires where the vampire hunters hole up for the night.
Miami the city with all the hot action...Burn Notice, Dexter and Transporter 2
use the same wealthy neighborhood to film the wealthy neighborhood shots.
Dexter's (Showtime)
childhood living room is the same living room that Edward Scissorhands called his own when he came to live in town.
The desert village used in
Dirk Pitt's Sahara is the same village used in Hidalgo without the pretty trappings.
Glimmer Man and Executive Decision share a little Steven Seagal in common:  Our Lady of Angels is the same building that housed a deadly nerve toxin that could have destroyed the eastern seaboard. Oh, and they both have Steven Seagal in them.
Lancelot Link Secret Chimp that loveable secret chimp from the 70s was filmed in Team Apeonaught's own home town of San Diego.  It was pretty funny to see the Chimps climbing the tower at Vacation Village!!!
TV show
Monk based in San Francisco has Monk chasing a bad guy to Paxton Air Force Base.  Funny the planes there all have ED on the tails and the buildings and tarmac look an awful lot like Edwards.
The dungeon cell used in Jean Claude Van Damme's
In Hell looks a hell of a lot like Jim Caveziel's dungeon cell in The Count Of Monte Cristo.
Transporter 2 and Out of Sight: 
the exterior shots of an office building with a brass doorway and handrails going down the stairs are used by the psycho gun toting bitch in T-2 and George Clooney in OoS.
Nowhere Man and The X-Files Movie:  The heroes of both stories come to a crossroads literally and figuratively in the middle of a long stretch of highway out in the middle of nowhere.  (some of the X-Files production people worked on the tv series Nowhere Man...coincidence or conspiracy)
The Sweeper 1998:  C. Thomas Howell as a vigilante cop and his partner go to the Lakewood Mall for a pivotal, if cheesey looking fight scene.
Commando and Chopping Mall: 
filmed in the same mall.  Characters jumped around the same elevator and stairwells.
Must Love Dogs 2005: 
The dog park where John and Diane's characters meet for the first time is not just some stunt park, it is the real dog park in none other than Long Beach, CA.
George's 50's Diner at the corner of San Antonio and Atlantic in Long Beach, CA has been used in several movies...notably Corina Corina and Cinderella Story and Hollywoodland.  Something new being filmed there will have it's name as Milt's Diner and it will pose a Chinese take out place.  Most recently the diner shows up in the opening scenes of Zodiac (2007) as Mr. Ed's.  An ill-fated couple drive past it because the parking lot is full.
Thin Man Goes Home 1944:  When she gets a wild idea Nora Charles tails an associate of Nick's on a long walk through the city.  He stops, she stops, he stops, she stops.  They come to the train station.  On the wall beside Nora is a poster advertising a cuppa joe with a soldier smiling to beat the band.  This is the very same G I in the "Hey Hollywood, sit down and pour yourselves a nice cup of shut the fuck up" that buzzed around the internet when certain actors started mouthing off about the state of world affairs.
CIA II: Target Alexa and The Challenge:  The office building used for the headquarters of the CIA and the Yakuza are one and the same. I think the guards were even in the same positions.
The Ring Two 2005: 
The big yellow house that Max the reporter lives in looks an awful lot like the big yellow house used in Millennium where Frank Black and his family lived.  And the common room at the looney bin looks an awful lot like the common room at the looney bin in Grosse Pointe Blank and Without a Trace.
The sets used for Have Gun Will Travel in 1958 were almost unchanged since they were used in the '30s for Hopalong Cassidy. Heck, everything from that time period looks the same.  Thank god for Lone Pine!!!
The exterior shot of Anne Shirley's apartment in Murder My Sweet (1945), is the same one used in The Last Boy Scout (1991)
The exterior shot of the church in Kill Bill Vol. 1 is the same as the exterior shot of the bar in Silent Rage.
The actor who played the train traffic controller in Under Siege 2 is also an adult film actor. 
An actor who was a terrorist in 24 is an adult film actor. 
An actor who played a minor judge in Judge Dredd is an adult film actor.
John Wayne's movie Hellfighters and JCVD's movie Universal Soldier use a transport plane that can be seen in Team Apeonaut's vacation photos from PIMA.


Oceanic Air:  The most disaster prone airline in cinema.  Executive Decision, Lost, The Pretender, Category 6 Day of Destruction 
Tri-Oceanic:  Disaster prone undersea mining company. Leviathan

Worst use of the word PARADISE.  It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Trapped in Paradise ~ Paradise Road ~ Paradise, Ohio (I am #4) ~ Another Day in Paradise ~ Return to Paradise ~ Stranger Than Paradise ~ Murder in Paradise

SPEAKING OF PUTRIFACTION: 
PUTRIFACTION;  A STATE OF FOUL DECAY OR DECOMPOSITION.  LIQUIFACTION; TO MAKE OR BECOME LIQUID.
A great scene of putrifaction lies in a bathtub in a little seen, but excellent movie called NARC.  The police aren't really sure what's in the tub full of goo until they find an arm bone.  That's one informant down the drain!
The movie SEVEN has some great putrifaction scenes also.  They aren't called the seven deadly sins for nothing!

WHO KNEW?!
Who knew Jerry Mathers was an actor before he was the "Beav"?  Shadow on the Window  1957 Son of a cop who witnesses his mother's kidnapping.

Who knew that the Father of all things Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry wrote 3 of the best episodes of the western series Paladin?  1957 The Hanging Cross starring a pre-Rifleman Johnny Crawford, 1957 Helen of Abajinian,
1958 Ella West.  All 3 episodes were poignant, witty and moral.  Foundations upon which to build a sci-fi empire!  Granted, CBS thought he would write a western series for them, but hey!  Long live Capt. Kirk.

PENAL SYSTEM ACCESSORIES:
Deadlock:  Inmates in this model prison each have an explosive device around their necks.  Every inmate has a partner who is unknown to them.  If a prisoner tries to escape their head blows up as well as the unknown partner. 
A fairly effective deterrent to prison breaks. 
Fortress:  The Intestinator is implanted into the stomach of each inmate of this futuristic underground prison.  When someone infracts the rules or tries to escape, the Intestinator emits a painful array of shocks and stabs
as it twirls around in the gut.
Face Off:  In this offshore prison the inmates are fitted with magnetic boots.  When trouble breaks out the switch is flipped and the inmates wobble like weebles but they can't fall down, or beat each other up or escape.
Harsh Realm:  The Skull Bug.  A nifty little device shot into the neck via an inoculation type gun.  When a person doesn't follow the rules, the Skull Bug starts drilling through the brain until it comes out through the front
of the skull thus rendering the prisoner lobotomized.

GREAT USE OF A CREDIT CARD:  
1987  Heat starring Burt Reynolds.  Fairly pointless movie, but Burt puts the moves on some bad guys and slits their throats with his Master Card.  
1997 Glimmer Man starring Steven Segal.  The same technique is used on some Russian baddies, this time using American Express, don't kill at home without it!

  • SHEAR DELIGHTS:  RUNNING WITH SCISSORS - NOT A GOOD IDEA
    Dial M For Murder ~ Dead Again ~ Shining Through ~ Edward Scissorhands ~ Romeo Is Bleeding  ~ Opera ~ Scream ~ Scissors ~ Taking Lives ~ Ice Harvest ~ The Visitation ~ Mr. Brooks ~
    Reflections in a Golden Eye ~ Ace In The Hole ~ Dead Zone ~ Punisher: War Zone ~ Hard Target ~ CSI TV ~ Night Watch ~ Law and Order SVU ~ Devils Teardrop ~ Obsession ~ Haven ~ The Debt ~
    Dog Soldiers ~ Fragile ~ The Omen ~ Hinterland ~ Ministry of Fear ~ Grimm ~ High Plains Drifter ~ Nightwatch ~ A Matter of Faith ~ Beck

FUNNY USE OF GREEK NAMES:  CASTOR AND POLLUX   THE RELIC: THE NAMES OF A PAIR OF GERMAN SHEPHERD K-9 OFFICERS SENT INTO THE TUNNELS OF THE MUSEUM TO
FIND THE CRAZED KILLING MUTANT BEAST.   FACE-OFF:  THE NAMES OF THE TWO PSYCHO BROTHERS WHO MAKE JOHN TRAVOLTA'S LIFE MISERABLE.  They also appeared in the TV series the Flash known as the Twin Streaks

GASTRIC DISTRESS OR YOUR INTESTINAL FORTITUDE DIDN'T GET YOU VERY FAR DID IT?
2015: Whitechapel Season 4:  Cannibals run amok in the sewers.  Many people lose their intestines
2015: Everly:  After escaping most of the bad guy's henchmen after 4 years of abusive servitude, Everly makes the torturer drink acid...it eats up his insides making them outsides.
ANY Sci Fi Channel original movie...tons of intestines there...and chewed off heads for that matter.
2005: Intermedio:  Annoying Barbie is sliced in half by a circular saw blade hurled at her by a vengeful ghost in a Mexican drug trafficking tunnel. 
2009: Rambo:  slices through the general with his homemade knife like buttah!  His legs role down the hill and his torso spills his guts all over the place.
1982: John Carpenter's The Thing:  Norris has been infected by the thing.  Doc Copper tries to defibrillate him and Norris's chest opens wide with teeth and chews off Copper's forearms.
2006: Slither:  After Grant has been infected by the worms he slaps at one of the townsfolk with a tentacle and slices him in half up the middle, while the guy's are still blinking as he falls apart,
          all his internal organs come spilling out onto the ground in a slithery mess.
2006:  Black Christmas:  the psycho killer is impaled on a decorated Christmas tree in the thrilling climax.  His intestines wrap around the branches and keep him from sliding down the trunk. 
          You can see them twisting and turning to keep him in place.  Oh Christmas tree Oh Christmas Tree....
2006:  Disaster Zone: Volcano in New York.  A sandhog loses his lunch and his intestines when hit by super lava heated steam.  EEWWW
1968:  Night of the Living Dead...maybe the first movie where we get to see human intestines being served up as a tasty after dinner snack.
1987:  Predator...Hawkins goes after some movement in the brush and ends up nothing but a pile of guts in the grass.  Ok, and a skin sack hanging from a tree.
2001:  Hannibal...Intestines aren't really good for bungee jumping.  Hannibal tosses an Italian cop out the window for fun.  He didn't bounce. I'd like to buy a bowel for $200.00.
2005:  Land of the Dead...More stomach sausages for everyone!!!  um m good!
2005:  Attack of the Sabretooth...When not biting off heads, the sabretooth rips you limb from limb and leaves your guts for garters.
1995:  Braveheart...Freedom from stomach cramps maybe!  A big hook on a handle and a little tug and viola, no more stomach trouble.
1983:  Gorky Park...American cop is gutted and strung up to a tree by a nasty American business man.
 


IT SLICES, IT DICES, IT JULIENNES! 
"Oh Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark!
The Wailing: locals try to fight off demons with lawn implements, one demon gets a rake to the head!  AWESOME
Crimson Peak: incest sister kills her brother with a knife by stabbing him in the heart, abdomen and the coup de gras, through the cheek under is left eye.  The look of surprise on his face. Priceless.
The Colony:  The hero uses a Donner Pass:  kids staying in a cabin in the Donner Pass become possessed by the cannibalistic spirit.  One boy throws a hammer into the eye socket of an innocent bystander.
Haunting of Julia:  after a long boring "psychological" thriller Julia sits in her chair and calls to the spirit of her dead child.  Things don't end well.  Julia sits in her chair through the end credits with 2 slashes in her neck pumping arterial blood profusely while she dies.
Assassination Games:  Vincent throws a mean cleaver at one of the real bad guys in a kitchen during a chase.
Centurion:  the Greek cook throws a mean cleaver into the chest of one of the Picts.
Justified: Mr Quarels has his forearm lopped off by Mr Limehouse as Deputy Givens plays keep away with the severed limb.
Expendables:  Barney slices off the hand of a mercenary about to defile Sandra.
Pray for Death: Chainsaw fight don't let that get too close to your face...
Timber Falls:  The Bride uses a scythe to slice off the crazy lady's head.
Versus:  Samurai sword wielding bad guy slices a zombie in half vertically
Cyborg Soldier: Isaac stabs a guy in the eye with a broken knife.
Brotherhood of the Wolf:  flaming arrow hits one of the bad guys in the middle of the forehead.
Prince of Darkness:  a person possessed by Satan gets a chopstick in the eye...eeewww
Broken Arrow:  bad guy chasing the good guy on the roof of the train gets a close shave in the guts with a helicopter blade
Blood The Last Vampire:  Blood slices a vampire in half the long way starting with the eye.
Ninja Assassin:  Raiso uses a blade on a chain to hack up the competition, long ways, short ways, side ways and any other ways.  Don't slip in that!
Dawn of the Dead:  biting zombie gets a machete to the head
Underworld Rise of the Lycans: Viktor is sworded through the mouth and out the back of his head by Lucian after Viktor kills his own daughter, Lucian's lover and the mother of his hybrid child.  Talk about sword, er, sore throat.
Diary of the Dead...silent Samuel the Amish dude realizing he is toast when he is grabbed by an undead sythes himself through the forehead and sythes the zombie behind him.  Result...dead undead.
Punisher 2008...Frank cuts off a mobster's head, machete's a mobster's skull and tosses a mobster into a glass crusher.
Ong Bak The Thai Warrior 2005:  Tony Jaa is running from bad guys.  He stops at a butcher's kiosk and grabs a cleaver.  Lots of bad guys show up.  He grabs a bigger cleaver.  The bad guys hesitate.  Then a knife peddler walks through with a cart full of knives.
Slither 2006:  Grant as squid whips out a tentacle and slices a townie up the middle.  He blinks in surprise as his front splits open and his guts fall out in a juicy mess.
Die Hard 2 1990:  McClane drops the bad major into the engine of the get away jet.  Marv isn't going to clean that up!
Escape 2000:  A hunter slices his circus freak friend in half with his little red tractor.  You have to see it to believe it.
Watchers 1989:  Travis stabs the head NSO bad guy in the throat with a hunting knife.  The NSO guy just stands there and laughs then pulls the knife out and keeps talking while spurting a fountain of blood.
Commando:  On the island of Guacamole in the rescue attempt of his daughter Codename Commando hides in the garden tool shed that has the crap shot out of it.  He then uses gardening implements to deter opposing forces from killing him.  Plus the odd circular saw blade is bandied about and slices off the side of one guy's head.
The Challenge 1982:  A crazy little movie about a down and out boxer named Rick who is hired to transport a sword to Japan.  He gets involved with two fighting samurai brothers.  In the climactic fight scene the boxer who has taken samurai lessons is forced to fight the bad brother.  In a wild fight scene he feints and slices the bad brothers head in two like a melon.  Awesome.
Sharkey's Machine:  while cruising around the harbor with bad guys, Sharkey is tortured by a nemesis and has 2 of his fingers sliced off in a brutal torture encounter.
Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte 1964:  Leave it to cleaver...John Mayhew goes to the summer house to break up with his beloved and is broken up himself by a cleaver wielding villain who removes his hand and his head.  Owwie! Zatoichi 1989:  Zatoichi is fighting six or seven villains in an enclosed space.  Zatoichi swings his sword around and in the next shot a villain's nose has been sliced off and has stuck to a post.  Now that's spiting one's face!!!
Sin City 2005:  Miho saves Dwight's life by throwing her swastika shuriken at the Irish mobster taking aim at him and cleanly slices off the top third of his head.  He looks surprised.  Harv slices off a pound of flesh or two or three from Kevin.
Reservoir Dogs:  Mr. Blond takes a liking to the ear of a poor captured cop.  Stuck in the middle with you.  Can you hear me now?  That would have been a good line.
Friday the 13th:  Let's not forget all the great slicing that Mrs. Voorhees did to avenge her son's drowning at camp.
Devil's Advocate:  Marianne hears the devil in her head.  Deciding to make the voices shut up she picks up a piece of shattered mirror and draws a thin red line across her neck.  Whoosh sploosh arterial splatter.
Toolbox Murders:  In Tobe Hooper's 2004 reinvention of the 1978 classic, the killer takes a portable handsaw to his apprentice's head neatly and painfully cleaving the top half at the eyeballs off until it plops onto the floor.  I think the eyeballs were still blinking!  Eeww!
Saw: 
A neat little movie which could have been better had the titular cutting device been used more effectively. But the good yet uncaring doctor finally at the end uses the SAW to cut through his own ankle to free himself of the leg iron that holds him prisoner of the mad man Jigsaw.
Equilibrium:  Great little sci fi flick that out-Matrixes the Matrix.  Pre-Batman Christian Bale looks great in black, can handle a sword (or gun) with phenomenal skill and has the authority to kick major ass in this Brave New World. Near the end of the movie he quickly dispatches the de facto leader's henchmen with his katana.  The asshole who'd been vying for his job takes up a sword in order to do battle.  In one deft deadly move Bale's Cleric whoosh whooshes with his sword and slices through the guy's face.  Very cool effect as the victim turns profile and his face just slides right off. 
Kill Bill Vol. 1:  The Bride slices off the top of Oren Ishi I's head and exposes her brain pan.  Pretty nifty trick.
Black Rain:  Nick and Charlie, two New York cops go to Japan to get a nasty Yakuza counterfeiter.  Things don't go well for Charlie.  One night in an underground parking garage he is baited into a bad situation by bad guys on motorcycles.  The bad guy they are after races up to him and neatly and vehemently slices off his head with a sword...it is Japan after all.
Blind Fury:  Randall Tex Cobb goes after our blind hero who uses his bat like sonar to neatly slice him in half with his sword and send him falling to an unpleasant death out a window and down a mountain side while splitting in two.  I hate that when that happens!
Wrong Turn:  20-somethings on a road trip make a "wrong turn" and end up in the Virginia woods that are home to dare I say it...cannibals!  There is a lot of slicing going on, but the slice deserving of mention here is during the daring escape by the 20-somethings, one of the girls is hiding in a tree.  Next thing you know a big axe flies out of the branches and whacks her in the mouth sending her body from the chin down falling to the ground.  The top of her head just sits on the axe blade.
Johnny Mnemonic:  Udo Kier's character is sliced into thirds at the shoulder by a laser whip. 
13 Ghosts starring Tony "Monk" Shaloub.  A lawyer is walking down a scary, creepy hallway and abruptly stops in his tracks.  The effect is so good because you don't see any glare from the glass doors that have closed and sliced the lawyer in half.  Not short ways like a samurai sword would do, but width wise.  As he slumps to the floor from the front, we see his back half stuck to the sheet of glass with his organs, brains and muscles oozing as his eyeballs and mouth pulse their last beats.  A character asks later, Hey did the lawyer split?   
Ghost Ship offers up some great slice and dice.  A not entirely bad movie available on DVD.  We have cruise ship passengers dancing to a lyrical Italian melody when "evil lurking" releases a cable that sproings across the dance floor about waist high and slices people apart at various levels of their anatomy.  Arms and legs akimbo, torsos wiggling, arms trying to grab legs and hold them together and best of all, the captain's head cleanly sliced at the mouth so that the top of his head slides neatly off his bottom jaw. 
Thanks to Queenotype for reminding us of this unkindest cut of all:  Final Destination 2.  Heroes crash into a field, as they evaluate who's hurt and who needs to be saved, tension mounts as we think the driver of the car will be the next victim of horrible death.  As it turns out it is the cute guy we think might actually survive this festival of death.  A chain of events conspires to release at high velocity strands of a barbed wire fence that oh so neatly slice through his body like "butta" at the chest and waist leaving him dazed for a second until his parts start to fall to the ground.  The pieces of arms that fall are so lifelike, one thinks, how'd they do that?!  Then you watch the bonus features on the DVD and find out! 
Chinatown.  Who can forget Roman "a hood" Polanski knifing through Jack "Gittes" Nicholson's nostril!  Eeeww!  
Underworld uber-Vamp Selena picks up her master's discarded sword and does a quick fly by before he can harm her new boyfriend.  Her master turns on her and looks as if he is ready to tear her a new one when realization strikes him that something is wrong.  He looks puzzled for a second, then the right side of his head slides off at an angle and falls to the ground.  Even for an elder vampire, that had to suck!!!!
Resident Evil, the movie that made no apologies for being based on a video game and made a fortune doing so.  The bulk of the security team sent into the Umbrella Corps Hive to find out what went horribly wrong with an experiment in bio technology is walking down a well lit corridor toward the door to the main computer's inner sanctum.  Pretty lights come on and start traveling the length of the corridor.  Fingers are sliced off, a head is neatly severed, one guy tries to jump over the light but it moves with him and neatly cuts him in half.  But the best part is the leader of the group thinks he can leap and dodge the lights when they form a grid and neatly cube him like chunky dog food.  His one blinking eye registers, what, dismay? surprise?
Mindhunters, the movie about FBI profiler wannabees, has a scene where everyone has been drugged and falls asleep.  When they wake up, the annoying British guy is shaken and his head falls clean off.

FUN WITH BODY PIERCING:
Siege at Jadotville: Sniper is out of bullets so he throws a knife into the eye of a Congolese soldier.
Last Heist:  The serial Killer gouges out the eyes of his victims and puts them in little jars as keepsakes.
Last Heist:  during the climax the police sniper shoots one of the would-be robbers in the eye...perfect little eye hole.
Lady Snow Blood:  stabs a corrupt politician in the eye with her hairpin.

Johnny Mnemonic 1995:  IceT shoots an arrow from atop the Brooklyn Bridge into the open mouth of a cop on the river bank below.
Chronicle 2012:  When Andrew freaks out and starts killing everyone, his cousin Matt must make the hard choice and kinetically send the spear from a bronze Indian statue into and through is cousins torso.
Wake of Death: Drill his head off Raymond.  Raymond uses a 12 inch long drill bit to glean information from a corrupt government official.
Diary of the Dead:  Billy the Zombie gets a well placed arrow in the head.
On Dangerous Ground:  one of the bad henchmen is stabbed in the eye with a big knife by Steven Seagal
The Thing: Garry shoots a Norwegian in the eye through his snow goggles with a pistol from several hundred feet away.
Super: The sidekick is shotgunned in the head leaving a smoking hole in her eyehole
Dawn of the Dead: Roger is tackled by screwdriver zombie.  Fortunately Roger can grab zombie's tool belt and drive the screwdriver deep into his fevered undead brain.
The Expendables: Mr. Munroe is shot twice by Barney Ross and simultaneously stabbed from the back to the front with a really big knife by Lee Christmas.
The Expendables:  Lee Christmas, the blade expert tosses off a blade into the ear canal of a bad guy.
Timber Falls:  The crazy park ranger uses an axe to the cranium to stop a guy looking for the kidnapped hikers.
Rambo First Blood 2:  shoots an arrow into the forehead of a soldier at the fence.
Alone in the Dark:  Carnby is fighting a bad guy who wants an artifact he has, during the fight they end up on a set of conveyor rollers.  Carnby knocks the guy off and he lands in a pile of old fish and conveniently a rusty broken piece of metal.
See No Evil:  Kane is pole-axed in the back of the head in a feeble attempt to disable him.  Unfortunately his head is full of maggots.  WTF!
Rise of the Lycans:  Lycans trying to escape the vampire castle.  defenses include guns that fire spears at high velocity.  Several Lycans are speared in the process.  One through the face right into the wall.
The Phantom:  Mr. Draxx gets rid of the librarian by having look through the microscope.  Surprise!  Metal spikes shoot out of the eyepieces.
The Collector...rebellious teen daughter is caught in a trap that hurls her into the wall and nails her to the dry wall.  One goes through her nose.
Rambo shoots some native trouble makers with his wittle bow and arrows.
While She Was Out...Della beats the crap out of a punk with a compact folding tire iron.  Her final blow is to shove the tire iron up his nasal cavity.  Made TA laugh out loud.
Big Nothing...Wisconsin Widow swings a mean hatchet into Mimi Rogers' forehead.
End Days...Satan stabs a priest in the forehead with a big cross
Black Christmas 2007...Psycho Billy stabs dear old dad in the head with a Christmas ornament
Chronicles of Riddick...Riddick stabs the leader of the Necromongers in the top of his head with his knife, then breaks off the handle
Punisher 2008...Frank kicks a chair into a mobster's eye.
Punisher 2008...Frank punches Sonny in the face obliterating his face.
End of Days...Satan punches a guy in the face obliterating his face.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer...a prank gone horribly awry ends with a young man being impaled on the smoke stack of a tractor that wasn't supposed to be where he was going to land.
Underworld Rise of the Lycans:  During an uprising by Lycan slaves, Deathdealers shoot their arrows en masse to trap the fleeing slaves, one gets pierced through the cheek and pinned to the wall.  Owchie.
Push: Screamer gets a bamboo pole lodged in his cheek.
Shoot 'Em Up:  the wet nurse grabs the hard rock owner by the balls and yanks out his cock piercing.  Oooo that had to hurt.

Under Siege:  bad guy gets a metal rail dropped through his torso by Chief Ryback.
Conspiracy
2008: Our spec ops Marine takes out an enemy combatant with a swift jab to the temple with a Ka-Bar.  Owie!
Dead Zone 1983:  Johnny's revelation that the Castle Rock serial killer is a cop, causes said cop to go home and shove his pair of killing shears into the roof of his mouth and his nasal cavity.  Ouchie. 
End of Days 1999:  The devil takes a golden cross and rams it into the forehead of a priest.
Die Hard 2 1990:  McClane gets into a fight with a sentry at the church.  The sentry goes for a knife, McClane opts for the icicle and pokes the guy in the eye!  Owie!
13th Warrior:  The Norsemen track the bearmen to their lair.  The bear sentry is quickly dispatched by a rather large arrow to the left eye.  You know that had to leave a mark.
Fear 1996:  Bad boyfriend Mark Wahlberg is perfunctorily punctured in the back by little goodie two shoes Reese Witherspoon.
The Rock 1996:  Captain Rocket Man is shot out the window with a rocket and falls several feet to become impaled on a fence post.  Nasty business.
Glimmer man 1997:  After a pivotal fight scene with the Glimmerman, Donald is tossed out an ornamental window and lands throat first on an ornamental wrought iron fence.  He swings a little with the inertia of his impalement. 
The Hole 2001:  Obsessed Liz prepares to leave her friends in the hole.  Mike jumps onto the hanging ladder to get after her.  It breaks sending him crashing to the floor.  The leg of the ladder pierces his chest and his heart.  What a mess!
Delta Force 2 1990:  Chuck Norris does battle with Columbian drug lords.  In one pivotal scene he flying round house kicks a bad guy into a sharp spike and impales him to the wall.  Ouchie.
Hard To Kill 1990:  In the thrilling conclusion to this better than average Steven Segal movie he is fighting the bad cops who killed his family.  In the billiards room he is naturally fighting the baddies with pool cues.  The coup de gras comes when he rams the broken end of a pool cue into the carotid artery of the cop who killed his wife.  Uttering "Fuck you and die" he just oozes satisfaction.
Land of the Dead 2005:  When the "Stenches" overrun the crystal city, one zombie catches a young woman and for some reason the thought of the zombie ripping out her naval ring merited a close up.  EEEWWW!
Sin City 2005:  A bald baddie is shot through the chest with an arrow.  The arrow has a note on it.  The baddie says hey?!  You gonna read the note?  Someone call me a doc? Then he's shot through the head.  Owwie!
Deep Star Six 1989:  During particularly tense moments the crew of an underwater who are habitat hoping not to do battle with an angry crustacean see one of their members stabbed in the back with a compressed air dart.  It explodes his heart all over the place.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 1988:  Cousin Ruprecht stabs himself in the eye with a fork at the dinner table.  Ok, he was wearing an eye patch.  It's also one of the funniest scenes in the movie.
Twice Told Tales 1963:  Vincent Price's tortured character (isn't he always) swings a mighty pick axe and plants it firmly in his sister's forehead.  That had to hurt!
Blown Away 1994:  Lloyd Bridges' character is shot full of metal arrows (in addition to being wired with explosives) by Tommy Lee Jones
The Patriot 2000:  Mel uses Old Glory to end the life of a zealous man.  Long may she wave!
Omen 1976:  Shortly after Damien's 5th birthday, a priest trying to warn his parents that he is Satan spawn dies a horrible death by piercing in a freak accident.  A steel rod comes flying off a building and impales him into the ground through his shoulder.
Final Destination 2 2003: Not really body piercing in the strictest sense, but when the fire escape ladder pierces the skull of the lotto winner, you know that had to hurt.  Boy, that looked real!  In another scene, the creepy mortician yanks the nipple ring off the very same lotto winner.
Airheads 1994:  Chris Farley's police officer character is assaulted in a bar by punks.  One punk rips off his badge and bends it.  "What are you gonna do about that?"  Farley reaches out and yanks off the punk's nipple ring.  "Improvise"  is the reply.
Heartbreak Ridge 1986:  Clint Eastwood's Gunny Highway meets his platoon for the first time.  Mario Van Peebles is wearing a dangling cross earring in his left earlobe.  Gunny is trying to extract moneys owed him by tugging on said ear.  After the money is recovered Gunny rips that sucker right out.  Van Peebles wears a piece of white tape the rest of the movie.  Semper Fi Clint!  (thanks to our own ARC for this entry!)
Payback 1999:  A druggie goes to the apartment of Mel Gibson's wife.  He gives unsatisfactory answers to our protagonist's questions which prompts Mel to yank the ring right out of druggie's nostril.  You know that had to hurt!Commando 1985:  Perhaps the best depiction of body piercing comes in the final moments when our hero hurls a pipe into the chest of a really bad guy and utters, "let off some steam Bennett!"  (compliments to Buddy) Cradle 2 the Grave 2003:  Jet Li yanks the earring off of an obnoxious street fighter.  Earlobes sure bleed a lot!

MISCELLANY
1977 Telefon: 
You've come a long way baby!  Funny how things change.  Spy Lee Remick and KGB agent Charles Bronson are on a plane heading for another target of a vicious Cold War plot.  They speak of the mission, the plot and engage in sexual innuendo.  Bronson starts fussing with his jacket that was torn in a previous fight.  Lee Remick takes it from him and whips out a needle and thread and proceeds to sew up the tear!   What is that all about!!!  A spy and a seamstress!

Best smart phone app ever:  Memphis Beat...door is locked...I have an app for that and uses the smart phone to break the window.

 Who is the only TV character ever to eat "eggs in a frame" for breakfast?  Sorry, you can't IMDB this one!!!!!!  Sledge Hammer
"EGGIES IN A BASKET" AS THE BRITS CALL THEM, MADE THEIR BIG SCREEN DEBUT IN V FOR VENDETTA.
Eggs in a Frame:  Moon over Miami
Eggs in a Frame: Lucifer season 2


Odd casting...
The casting you don't see everyday...
Marlon Brando as the Asian Sakini in Teahouse of the August Moon
Richard Burton and Rex Harrison as gays in 1969's Staircase
Boris Karloff: Fu Manchu
Dale Midkiff, William Shatner, Judd Nelson and Cliff Robertson.  The movie Falcon Down.
Paul Fix as a Chinese elder in Blood Alley.
Rod Steiger as Mexican in Duck You Sucker

Sam Jaffee as Indian Gunga Din
John Wayne as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror
Ernest Borgnine as a Viking in Vikings. 
Chris Isaak as the SWAT leader in Silence of the Lambs.
Lee J. Cobb as a Chinese war lord in Left Hand of God, or as a Siamese chamberlain in Anna and the King of Siam.  Ok, Rex Harrison as the king was a little odd too.
Nick Adams cast as a fey Pacific Islander Prince in The Wild Wild West

men who should not dress as women:
Danny Trejo: Sling TV commercial
Ted Danson: 3 Men and a Baby
BD Wong: Mr. Robot
John Malkovich: REDS 2
Tracy Morgan and the other cheerleaders in Longest Yard remake
Channing Tatum dressed as Marilyn Monroe in Magic Mike.  In some lighting he isn't bad.
Ray Wise: cross-dresser on Rizzoli & Isles
Robert Downey Jr.: Sherlock Holmes 2
Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon: Some Like it Hot
Chiwetel Ejiofor: Kinky Boots...though he looks good in some lighting
Willem DaFoe: Boondock Saints
Billy Crudup: Stage Beauty
Jerry Lewis: Carmen Miranda
Michael Clarke Duncan: Scorpion King & School for Scoundrels
Lionel Barrymore: Devil Doll
Benny Hill:  any of his shows
Tony Ganios: Meat in Porky's Revenge
Rob Schneider: The Hot Chick
Daniel Craig: Equals...PSA about men/woman equality
Dustin Hoffman: Tootsie
Robert DeNiro: Stardust
Peter Sellers:  What's New Pussycat
Bob Newhart dressed as Mary Todd Lincoln on the Dean Martin Variety Show
Jonathan Winters:  Maude Frikker
Tim Conway & Harvey Korman: Any episode of Carol Burnett
Shawn & Marlon Wayans: White Chicks
Anthony Perkins:  Mama in Psycho
Mark Blankfield: Robin Hood Men in Tights
Daniel Tosh: Tosh.O  Tinkerbell
Ben Stiller: Chitlins and the Dude
Jeff Bridges: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari in Bosom Buddies
Lee J. Cobb: In Like Flint
Val Kilmer:  The Saint he dresses as on old babooshka
Peter Falk: When Angels Came to Town
Steve Martin:  Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Jacques Du Valley:  assassin in Thunderball
George Hamilton:  Zorro, The Gay Blade
Gary Busey: Under Siege
Flip Wilson: Geraldine
Patrick Warburton:  Underdog
Robert Preston:  Victor Victoria
Gene Hackman:  The Bird Cage
John Travolta: Hairspray
Kurt Russell:  Tango & Cash...though he does wear it well
Steve Lawrence & Don Rickles:  The Big Show
Christopher Plummer: Silent Partner
Hugo Weaving, Terence Stamp, Guy Pearce:  Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert
Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo: To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar...Patrick Swayze is smoking hot dressed as a woman
Cillian Murphy:  Breakfast on Pluto
Michael Caine:  Dressed to Kill
Ross Martin:  The Wild Wild West
Arnold Schwarzenegger:  Junior (Total Recall is no contest as it's a full body prosthetic)
All of the guys from Monty Python's Flying Circus
Ving Rhames:  Holiday Heart
TK Carter:  He's My Girl
Christopher Lee:  Wicker Man
Uncle Miltie 



 

 


October 12, 2017