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Cinematic viewings will be cut back
significantly due to the current Hollywood bullshit. Streaming services
are more diverse and less politically motivated. Entertain me
NETFLIX: The Titan.
Harmlessly interesting, yet simplified movie of forced human evolution.
It's 2048 and we've destroyed our planet. Scientists think they
can make a human that can live on Saturn's moon, Titan. Several
evolution test candidates are taken to a NATO controlled island and
subjected to all manner of science to change them into methane
breathing, hairless, blue homo-titaniums. Things go badly, really
bad, for all but one of the test subjects and because he can
telepathically communicate with his wife he becomes the only guy sent to
Titan because he can no longer live on Earth. The best part is of
him flying across Titan's oceans. Entertaining but predictable.
Revolt. Earth is overrun by tall
metallic robotic aliens. Governments have toppled, billions of people
dispatched by the aliens. The part of the story we get is one US
soldier wakes up with amnesia in an African jail and little by little
remembers what happens to him with the help of a lovely French aid
worker. In a mad dash across the continent they discover ways to
fight the aliens. As for being a soldier, this guy is not very
tactically aware or effective. The aid worker is far more capable
of taking care of the hard stuff. She is captured by the aliens
and he is taken to the survivors who have an EMP device that they intend
to set off under the main alien ship. Wackiness ensues.
Entertaining, simple and made on a shoestring budget by today's
standards a very passable sci-fi adventure. One monkey thumb up
22 Bullets. This is a fun little
tale of revenge French style. A little foreshadowing in the
character build up stage tells you who is doing what to whom, but it is
well thought out and rather satisfactory in a simple A to B kind of way.
A retired gangland hitman is shot 22 times in a parking garage. He
survives and goes about finding out who shot him and why. His
family and friends are endangered and he has to forge an uneasy bond
with an alcoholic policewoman, but in the end all bad perpetrators die
at his hand and he saves his family. Well done.
NETFLIX: The Chalet season 1.
Another fun French revenge story. Past and present stories
intertwine to tell the tale of greed, lust, lost love, betrayal, murder
and killer revenge. A newly renovated chalet in a remote mountain
village far removed from the nearest town is the site of a past
transgression and a current wedding party gone wrong. Childhood
friends meet up at the Chalet to prepare for a wedding. The bridge
to the village is destroyed by a falling boulder, village people start
dying, friends disappear and die, old memories bubble to the surface as
the truth of what happened 20 years prior in the Chalet explode with a
vengeance. Murder upon murder, misunderstandings, stolen lottery
winnings all collide with the revelation of who is doing the killing and
why. Familiar storyline but entertaining.
Orbiter 9. Earth is again
dying and the people in charge are trying to find plausible ways to save
humanity. Yup. Interesting tale of a young woman who has never had
human contact while growing up alone in her spaceship on the way to
another planet. Her parents abandoned her years earlier to save
her oxygen so she could live. Enter the technician arriving by
spaceship to fix her air supply. Of course they have sex and she
gets pregnant. Turns out she is one of many people being
experimented on by the government and isn't in a spaceship after all.
The technician helps her escape and they try to evade the government.
Once discovered that she is pregnant, they strike a deal and allow the
three of them to go back to the Orbiter 9 program until the child
emerges at age 14. Some plot holes but otherwise thought
AMAZON: Detective Anna Season 1 with many episodes missing.
Anna, the daughter of a prominent lawyer
living at the end of the nineteenth century in the town of Zatonsk,
Russia discovers that she can see dead people. With the help of
her Charlatan Medium uncle, Anna builds a reputation as a seer and
helps many spirits find closure with their demise and brings many
culprits to justice with the help of Detective Shtolman from Moscow. On
a secret police mission, Shtolman reluctantly believes in Anna's
abilities after she has helped solve many cases and then falls in love
with her. The costumes are brilliant and the acting is wonderful
with a plethora of characters rounding out this turn of the century
mystery show. Too bad so many episodes are missing from Amazon's
Office: oh those wacky South Koreans.
This is the tale of an office worker gone off the deep end
and taking every coworker with him in heinous and clever
fashion. The police look at the situation one way, the
intern looks at it another and the coworkers still another.
Not a good day at the office for any one! This is
still a society that berates its workforce to get them to
work harder not smarter and one-up each other. In the
end nothing is at it seems and the quiet ones are usually
the most deadly.
Requiem Season 1. 10 episodes. A
young famous cellist watches her mother slit her own throat.
What ensues is a trippy trip to Wales (all manner of
dark things seem to happen in Wales) by the cellist and her
boyfriend/pianist. to uncover some hidden truth regarding
missing children, a particular missing girl, haunting
happenings, unexplained "suicides" that are not, menace and
Satanists. Though the cellist is rather annoying the
series is entertaining with a bang-up ending that makes for
an unhappy ending for everyone involved.
NETFLIX: Violet Evergarden. This is Team
Apeonaut's type of story. Two countries are at war and
have been a long time. A young, nameless orphan girl
is given to an Army Major by his Navy Captain older brother.
The Major names her Violet (Violent?) telling her she'll
grow into it. As the story unfolds we discover that
Violet has the knack for mass killing and as she grows
closer to the Major he tells her before he dies he loves
her. After waking up in a hospital with two robotic
arms, Violet goes to work for a friend of the Major who does
not tell her the Major is dead. Instead he sends her
to Memory Doll deportment school so she can be taught to
write lovely heartfelt letters for people in need of letters
being written. Many people cannot read or write.
Violet travels the country writing letters for people and
gaining the reputation as a wonderful letter writer.
All of this happens in her quest to find out the meaning
love so she knows what the Major meant when he said he loved
her. Of the many letters Violet writes she discovers
her positive impact on the lives of the people sending and
receiving the letters. She is not just a tool of war.
She is a person of worth and deserving of life. Highly
Beyond Skyline. A sequel to 2009's
Skyline, this movie takes place 24 hours after the invasion
of Los Angeles and before the nuking of Los Angeles to
destroy the aliens. A suspended cop, his angry son, a
transit operator and a few survivors use the subway to
escape the aliens. Unfortunately they are all killed
or captured and discover the horrible truth behind what the
aliens are doing to humans. Humans have their brains
removed and shoved into aliens who then go out and do the
bidding of the alien leader. Some of the transplants
however maintain human awareness thus setting the stage for
the revolt against the aliens. After the nuke hits,
the survivors end up in Southeast Asia and with the help of
Thai fighters beat the aliens at their own game. A far
better movie than the original Skyline, Beyond has moments
of logic, heroism, pathos and kickboxing.
I Remember You. Set in Iceland. 3 tragic tales
decades apart converge at an abandoned whaling station. Story 1: a
little boy is bullied by classmates. He gets onto a small boat and
is never seen again, though 7 of his classmates die horrible and
agonizing "accidental" deaths. Story 2: A doctor's son disappears
while playing hide and seek with a friend. The doctor obsesses
over his inability to find his boy. Story 3: a young couple
and a friend go to the abandoned whaling station to renovate an old
house in which to start their new lives. Unfortunately the husband
and friend have already become pregnant and the wife is having visions
since they arrived. Wife finds story 1's missing boy, dead in the
root cellar. Husband and pregnant family friend are killed in a freak
ghost induced building collapse, wife goes into the cellar and dies
comforting the spirit of story 1's lost boy. Friend of story 2
lost boy says he last saw him in a green submarine. Turns out to
be the septic tank outside of the pre-renovated whaling station house.
Spirit of lost boy 2 goes home with dad, spirit of lost boy 1 now has a
"mother" to keep him company. Similar to other ghost story movies
but it's Icelandic and the countryside and the weather make it seem
How I Ended This Summer. Older Russian meteorologist
and stupid young intern are alone on an Arctic island taking readings of
the sun, the wind, and the radiation everyday and transmitting the data
to Russia. One day the elder goes off fishing leaving the intern
in charge. Intern takes a message from HQ telling him the elder's
family has been killed and they are sending a ship to pick them up.
Instead of telling the elder immediately upon his return of the tragedy,
the intern feels intimidated by his elder's reprimands for his lousy
record keeping. The intern makes matters worse by lying to
everyone about having told the elder. After another fishing trip
the intern blurts out everything going wrong is because the elder's
family is dead which begins the life and death struggle between the two
men. It gets out of hand when the self-radiation contaminated
intern contaminates the elder's fish. The boat finally arrives
taking away the radioactive isotopes and the intern, leaving the elder
there alone on the island. Russian.
Flint and Flint Redemption. A Russian Maroon Beret "Shaman"
goes to a small town to visit an old friend. The town is run by
thugs. The townsfolk pay "protection" and the womenfolk are raped and
things in town run smoothly. In an eerie Russian reflection of
First Blood and Rambo 3 and the Raid, Shaman is arrested and beaten by
police for no reason. He breaks out and saves a girl raped by the
Sheriff. Along the way he makes 2 Rambo references. There is
also a picture of Steven Segall on the wall of the sheriff's office.
He goes on the run, they chase him with dogs and a helicopter, he sets
traps in the woods, the cops get injured, he has a stand-off with the
sheriff and Shaman's Colonel Trautman version talks him down. All
ends well. In Flint Redemption, Shaman and his new girlfriend (the
one saved from the sheriff) live a quiet life in an old military
trailer. Shaman's Colonel wants him to do a recon job on some bad
guys after a military platoon disappears. The colonel is shot and
Shaman ends up having to rescue the villagers and his girlfriend from
bad guys who kidnap people for their organs. Lots of fighting,
torture, and dying. Very Russian.
Tale of Tales. Three tales that converge into one. 1)
A selfish queen wants a baby. A soothsayer tells her how to get
one and sends her husband the king to slay a seabeast and cut out its
heart so it can be cooked by a virgin and then the queen can eat it
causing her to get pregnant in a day. The king dies during this
quest but the queen does not care. She has her baby...the virgin
also has a baby caused by the boiling steam from the seabeast heart, a
twin to the prince. The boys are friends, the queen hates it.
The prince tells his friend that when he is king they can do what they
want. After an incident the friend moves away and starts a family of his
own. The prince senses danger for his friend and goes to save him.
The queen finds out and asks the soothsayer how to get him back.
She turns into a giant bat so she can kill the friend, but the prince
kills her without knowing it's mommy. 2) An oddball king catches a
flea and feeds it until it is the size of a small elephant. His
daughter the princess is the prize to any man who can guess what the
hide is. An ogre says it's a flea and the princess must go be the
wife of an ogre. She is not happy. One day she gets circus
performers to help her escape the ogre. After a mighty chase and
fight the performers are dead and the princess must acquiesce to the
ogre. When he turns his back to her she cuts off his head with a
knife stolen from the circus wagon and takes it home to her ailing
father. He makes her queen so she doesn't cause a riot. 3)
Another king, this one a lecherous dog is entranced by singing he hears
one drunken night. He goes to the home of two filthy old
hags not knowing they are hags. The singer agrees to go to his bed
in disguise and under the cover of darkness. He realizes she's a
hag and tosses her out the window. Lucky to have survived the
great fall, she is suckled by a woodland witch whose milk gives
youth and vitality. The king marries her, thinking he made a
mistake previously. The queen's hag sister comes to the wedding
and nearly destroys the gig by proclaiming she's the queen's sister.
Then the sister has the Tanner flay her so she too can change her skin.
Totally crazy. Entertaining and beautifully filmed at some of
Europe's most interesting castles.
April 21, 2018